Several years ago as a young teacher I knocked on the Headmaster's door, went in and sat down, exchanged a few pleasantries then asked if I could have Wednesday afternoon off to go windsurfing.
As his eyes widened I explained how I just could not get the hang of that turn where you move to the back of the board, pull the sail round and try to go into the wind. I just fell in every time. A friend would be free that day and with his help and a few hours practice maybe I could get the hang of it.
Think of it as personal development, I added hopefully.
Ignoring his look of utter disbelief, I explained that Mrs. Jones had been allowed an afternoon off last Xmas to watch her son take part in a Nativity play, Mrs. Smithson had been off last week to look after her daughter who was ill and Miss Wade was away pretty much permanently. I had never had a day off for anything, so come on, just one afternoon...
Mr. Morris told me not to be so ridiculous and chucked me out.
"You just can't" was his final reply.
What's the daftest thing anyone has actually been allowed time off for at your school?
Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Good Title Suggestions Welcome
Fadi has obviously heard that teacher recruitment is getting ever more desperate...
Friday, April 27, 2007
Another Great Day for Justice
It seems pretty obvious to me that poor old Mr D.D. is simply a keen plane spotter. Why else would he happen to have a map showing where secluded footpaths offer a good view of the flight paths out of Birmingham Airport?
Just because one of his brother in laws was involved in the Madrid Train Bombings and the other in the Casablanca ones, does not mean that we should jump to conclusions. You meet a nice girl and maybe her family seem a bit odd but...
When D.D. first arrived in the UK, his passport unfortunately had somebody else's name on it. Mind you, it's easy to pick up the wrong one by mistake. I've done it myself.
D.D. (we are not allowed to know his real name, as he isn't a teacher accused of touching up a teenage girl) has adapted well to life in his new country, enthusiastically taking up Website Design (admittedly they generally seem to be about martyrs and bombs, but we all have to start somewhere)
His friend A.S. is; like many pupils I taught, 'Picked on by all the Countries'
In his case, Italy and Libya would like to put him in detention.
Fortunately Justice Ouseley is having none of that and has let them both go free.
Shami Chakrabati of Liberty and Amnesty's Kate Allen will be out on the town with them later tonight celebrating another victory for Britain. Hoorah!
Just because one of his brother in laws was involved in the Madrid Train Bombings and the other in the Casablanca ones, does not mean that we should jump to conclusions. You meet a nice girl and maybe her family seem a bit odd but...
When D.D. first arrived in the UK, his passport unfortunately had somebody else's name on it. Mind you, it's easy to pick up the wrong one by mistake. I've done it myself.
D.D. (we are not allowed to know his real name, as he isn't a teacher accused of touching up a teenage girl) has adapted well to life in his new country, enthusiastically taking up Website Design (admittedly they generally seem to be about martyrs and bombs, but we all have to start somewhere)
His friend A.S. is; like many pupils I taught, 'Picked on by all the Countries'
In his case, Italy and Libya would like to put him in detention.
Fortunately Justice Ouseley is having none of that and has let them both go free.
Shami Chakrabati of Liberty and Amnesty's Kate Allen will be out on the town with them later tonight celebrating another victory for Britain. Hoorah!
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Angela Mason
Angela Mason has made the fatal mistake of drawing attention to major problems rather than ignoring them. She must therefore be punished.
Long Live The GTC!
(Incidently the GTC, like the TES 'felt that they could not support' our petition for a bit of school discipline earlier this year)
Long Live The GTC!
(Incidently the GTC, like the TES 'felt that they could not support' our petition for a bit of school discipline earlier this year)
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Rate My School
I've never been particularly bothered about the Rate My Teacher Site, I'm more concerned that we seem to be attracting too many under confident, over sensitive teachers who give a damn about the misspelt ramblings of disaffected kids with nothing better to do.
Have a look at Rate My School. It's only just got going, so there aren't many comments yet, but the ones I saw seem to have a common SMT theme...
Or simply vent your frustrations at my rather more modest offerings Rate My Pupil and Rate My SMT
Have a look at Rate My School. It's only just got going, so there aren't many comments yet, but the ones I saw seem to have a common SMT theme...
Or simply vent your frustrations at my rather more modest offerings Rate My Pupil and Rate My SMT
Monday, April 23, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
The CEHR
Hooray! Not only has the weather been lovely all week, but the new Centre for Equality and Human Rights (CEHR) will soon be up and running with an annual budget of £70 million per year to spend wisely.
Inside the beautiful new Headquarters, recently refurbished at a cost that would make your eyes water, officials dined on caviar and rare quails eggs; whilst outside a spokeswoman explained to reporters exactly how the new organisation would work:
"Our primary aim is to come up with at least 23 new words ending in 'ism' by the end of 2007. Everybody in Britain today has a duty to be a victim of one sort or another (apart from white males in good health, whom we intend to crush beneath our feet.)
We also have a target of 200 phrases per year to ban. For example I could have said earlier that we 'intended to hit the ground running' but this would obviously be derogatory to anyone who is wheelchair bound; sorry 'disabled' I mean, 'differently enabled'.
Er.. anyway we are determined to introduce enough new legislation to drive every one of Britain's Small Busnesses into bankrupcy. Maternity Leave, Paternity Leave and Fraternity Leave- all will extended until you beg to be allowed back to work."
At this point a menial dashed out of the building and approached the speaker, clutching a note in one hand (and a champagne glass in the other.) She quickly read it and announced triumphantly:
"I told you we would hit the ground running, I mean wheeling. The first two new 'isms' have arrived.
'Sophorism' will be the act of discriminating against an employee who is always asleep." (Applause from inside the building)
"And from this day onwards; 'Nihilism' will mean discriminating against employees who have the misfortune not to exist.' The penalties for infringement will, I assure you; be severe.
Now, down on your knees and worship me you dogs!"
At this point the aide remembered an important appointment and she was hurriedly escorted back inside.
Inside the beautiful new Headquarters, recently refurbished at a cost that would make your eyes water, officials dined on caviar and rare quails eggs; whilst outside a spokeswoman explained to reporters exactly how the new organisation would work:
"Our primary aim is to come up with at least 23 new words ending in 'ism' by the end of 2007. Everybody in Britain today has a duty to be a victim of one sort or another (apart from white males in good health, whom we intend to crush beneath our feet.)
We also have a target of 200 phrases per year to ban. For example I could have said earlier that we 'intended to hit the ground running' but this would obviously be derogatory to anyone who is wheelchair bound; sorry 'disabled' I mean, 'differently enabled'.
Er.. anyway we are determined to introduce enough new legislation to drive every one of Britain's Small Busnesses into bankrupcy. Maternity Leave, Paternity Leave and Fraternity Leave- all will extended until you beg to be allowed back to work."
At this point a menial dashed out of the building and approached the speaker, clutching a note in one hand (and a champagne glass in the other.) She quickly read it and announced triumphantly:
"I told you we would hit the ground running, I mean wheeling. The first two new 'isms' have arrived.
'Sophorism' will be the act of discriminating against an employee who is always asleep." (Applause from inside the building)
"And from this day onwards; 'Nihilism' will mean discriminating against employees who have the misfortune not to exist.' The penalties for infringement will, I assure you; be severe.
Now, down on your knees and worship me you dogs!"
At this point the aide remembered an important appointment and she was hurriedly escorted back inside.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
I Said He'd Sue!
It's not often I get anything right, so a big thanks to good old Leroy for helping me out.
'Coleman's lawyer, Raymond Wigell, said his client did not plan to return to the education field and was considering legal action against whoever planted the camera' - Chicago Sun Times 16th April 2007
Meanwhile a third teacher has resigned from the school after discovering that she had made a guest appearance on Leroy's DVD. She was quoted in today's Illinois Tribune as saying:
'I won't be taking this lying down.'
The paper also reported that a group of concerned mothers gathered outside the school gates to 'demand further action.'
I'm not quite sure what they meant by that, but I can only hope that it doesn't involve any more of Leroy's antics.
Here's a picture of the Principal with one of the few Illinois women he won't be sleeping with for a while.
'Coleman's lawyer, Raymond Wigell, said his client did not plan to return to the education field and was considering legal action against whoever planted the camera' - Chicago Sun Times 16th April 2007
Meanwhile a third teacher has resigned from the school after discovering that she had made a guest appearance on Leroy's DVD. She was quoted in today's Illinois Tribune as saying:
'I won't be taking this lying down.'
The paper also reported that a group of concerned mothers gathered outside the school gates to 'demand further action.'
I'm not quite sure what they meant by that, but I can only hope that it doesn't involve any more of Leroy's antics.
Here's a picture of the Principal with one of the few Illinois women he won't be sleeping with for a while.
Teaching Unions
Every year at Easter time the various Teachers Unions hold their annual conferences. The purpose of these meetings is to provide the Daily Newspapers with stories which convince their readers that teachers have completely lost the plot and should not be entrusted with the education of children.
A couple of posts back we looked at the ATL doing their bit to make us look like a bunch of clowns by suggesting that kids need to be taught 'different ways of walking'. This set a high standard for the NUT to follow but they rose to the challenge. Baljeet Ghale, the union’s president refused to be beaten and promptly declared that teaching pupils British values is racist.
The NASUWT were in serious danger of being left behind until their general secretary Chris Keates, scored the winner by declaring that the TV Series 'Life on Mars' was Public Enemy No. 1
In a joint effort, everybody condemned selection by academic ability, claimed that teachers were being constantly bullied by each other and fainted dead away at the idea of paying good teachers more than rubbish ones. The newpapers all sent letters of thanks to each Union for once again providing first class entertainment.
Meanwhile all the normal teachers stayed at home and enjoyed the unexpected sunshine.
A couple of posts back we looked at the ATL doing their bit to make us look like a bunch of clowns by suggesting that kids need to be taught 'different ways of walking'. This set a high standard for the NUT to follow but they rose to the challenge. Baljeet Ghale, the union’s president refused to be beaten and promptly declared that teaching pupils British values is racist.
The NASUWT were in serious danger of being left behind until their general secretary Chris Keates, scored the winner by declaring that the TV Series 'Life on Mars' was Public Enemy No. 1
In a joint effort, everybody condemned selection by academic ability, claimed that teachers were being constantly bullied by each other and fainted dead away at the idea of paying good teachers more than rubbish ones. The newpapers all sent letters of thanks to each Union for once again providing first class entertainment.
Meanwhile all the normal teachers stayed at home and enjoyed the unexpected sunshine.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Leroy's 'Hands on' approach
Hope you all enjoyed the Easter holiday.
If you should happen to get called into the Head's office tomorrow, better hope that they've not been taking a leaf from Leroy's unique management style. The poor chap apparently misunderstood the idea of a 'Top Down' approach and is hopefully suing the Illinois Department of Education for any embarrassment that he has suffered.
Mind you; unlike many Heads he certainly can't be accused of being 'distant' or 'out of touch' with his staff.
If you should happen to get called into the Head's office tomorrow, better hope that they've not been taking a leaf from Leroy's unique management style. The poor chap apparently misunderstood the idea of a 'Top Down' approach and is hopefully suing the Illinois Department of Education for any embarrassment that he has suffered.
Mind you; unlike many Heads he certainly can't be accused of being 'distant' or 'out of touch' with his staff.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Daft Bats
Thanks to 'Nick' for the PFI story. Basically there seems to be three rules of Private Finance Initiative (the modern clever way to build schools)
1) You don't get what you were promised.
2) It's made of cardboard.
3) Nobody takes the PFI company to task for not doing what they originally promised.
Anyway in Nick's school they've found bats nesting in the roof so no further work can take place as the building company risk a fine of up to £3000 for every bat death which can be shown to be down to their work. The Council have sent the 'Bat Lady' to compile a report. She stays overnight in the building and listens carefully for evidence of the little fellows and searches for bat droppings (I'd started laughing by now, too). My question is this:
If she does come across a bat poo or manage to record nocturnal bat noises, does she phone up the Council on the bat mobile?
Hope you have a nice Easter. No posts next week as I'm away.
1) You don't get what you were promised.
2) It's made of cardboard.
3) Nobody takes the PFI company to task for not doing what they originally promised.
Anyway in Nick's school they've found bats nesting in the roof so no further work can take place as the building company risk a fine of up to £3000 for every bat death which can be shown to be down to their work. The Council have sent the 'Bat Lady' to compile a report. She stays overnight in the building and listens carefully for evidence of the little fellows and searches for bat droppings (I'd started laughing by now, too). My question is this:
If she does come across a bat poo or manage to record nocturnal bat noises, does she phone up the Council on the bat mobile?
Hope you have a nice Easter. No posts next week as I'm away.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Strange Powers
The Law giving teachers magical new powers came into effect yesterday, but as we're on holiday we must wait awhile before getting completely carried away.
It sounds like a step in the right direction, but as with all things, let's look at the reality. ie what difference will it make when Ashley doesn't turn up for his detention for the 20th time?
Because many journalists are bone idle, the extent of these powers depend on which paper you read. To prevent you from inadvertently giving Wayne a detention on Christmas Day, I have had a look at the bill itself and discovered the following:
Basically you can give a detention after school or on Saturday or Sunday during term time. (Great!) BUT you must still give 24 hours written notice to parents (and if they are crafty they could appeal that you haven't taken into account their travel needs)
You can also use 'reasonable force' to prevent Shane from doing anything particularly naughty. (as long as it's on school premises or somewhere where you are in charge of him ie a school trip). You can't give him a clout as a punishment however.
You can also tell Shazney to hand over her mobile phone although there is little guidance on how to handle the ensuing refusal.
Have a read for yourself here (if you are finding it hard to sleep) Download and click on 'Behaviour, discipline and zzzz....) None of it seems much different from what you can already do. I can't find anything that backs up some of the wilder claims in the news.
Or buy 'It's Your Time You're Wasting' for details of an alternative discipline policy.
It sounds like a step in the right direction, but as with all things, let's look at the reality. ie what difference will it make when Ashley doesn't turn up for his detention for the 20th time?
Because many journalists are bone idle, the extent of these powers depend on which paper you read. To prevent you from inadvertently giving Wayne a detention on Christmas Day, I have had a look at the bill itself and discovered the following:
Basically you can give a detention after school or on Saturday or Sunday during term time. (Great!) BUT you must still give 24 hours written notice to parents (and if they are crafty they could appeal that you haven't taken into account their travel needs)
You can also use 'reasonable force' to prevent Shane from doing anything particularly naughty. (as long as it's on school premises or somewhere where you are in charge of him ie a school trip). You can't give him a clout as a punishment however.
You can also tell Shazney to hand over her mobile phone although there is little guidance on how to handle the ensuing refusal.
Have a read for yourself here (if you are finding it hard to sleep) Download and click on 'Behaviour, discipline and zzzz....) None of it seems much different from what you can already do. I can't find anything that backs up some of the wilder claims in the news.
Or buy 'It's Your Time You're Wasting' for details of an alternative discipline policy.
Monday, April 02, 2007
The ATL Comedy Conference
Silly me; wrong again. I had naively thought it would be a few days before the Association of Teachers and Lecturers' Conference gave me something funny to write about.
They have hit the ground running; proposing on Day 1 that that children should be taught to walk in different ways. This is great stuff. I'd always thought that people who went to these meetings were either having affairs or needed to get a hobby, but now I understand the attraction. Martin Johnson is clearly a comic genius and if he can keep this standard up all week then he will have Peter Kay quaking in his boots.
Anyway if you want to join them, (and they all look very happy on the website) then here's the link:
http://www.askatl.org.uk/atl_en/join/default.asp
They have hit the ground running; proposing on Day 1 that that children should be taught to walk in different ways. This is great stuff. I'd always thought that people who went to these meetings were either having affairs or needed to get a hobby, but now I understand the attraction. Martin Johnson is clearly a comic genius and if he can keep this standard up all week then he will have Peter Kay quaking in his boots.
Anyway if you want to join them, (and they all look very happy on the website) then here's the link:
http://www.askatl.org.uk/atl_en/join/default.asp
Alan's Quote
Alan Johnson today:
'Ofsted has done a report on behaviour in schools and it states that in the vast majority of schools behaviour is good.'
I'd say that the vast majority of kids are pretty good, but the problem is that those who aren't know that they can do whatever they like.
Here's a bit from the Observer you might be interested in.
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,,2047510,00.html
ps The ATL Annual Conference starts today so there's bound to be something funny to post by the end of the week.
'Ofsted has done a report on behaviour in schools and it states that in the vast majority of schools behaviour is good.'
I'd say that the vast majority of kids are pretty good, but the problem is that those who aren't know that they can do whatever they like.
Here's a bit from the Observer you might be interested in.
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,,2047510,00.html
ps The ATL Annual Conference starts today so there's bound to be something funny to post by the end of the week.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Truancy
We are all simple creatures at heart. If doing something which is easily discovered, carries a severe penalty and the likelihood of that penalty being carried out is a certainty, then funnily enough we are less likely to do it than if there is no real deterrent.
The Government has spent a fortune on 'initiatives' to combat truancy. Todays figures show it might as well have been poured down the drain.
Whenever words like 'combat' are used to describe a new idea, with its suggestion of strong decisive action; you can be sure that it will be nothing of the sort.
I reckon the best thing to do would be to talk a bit tougher and start 'Waging War on Truancy'
The Government has spent a fortune on 'initiatives' to combat truancy. Todays figures show it might as well have been poured down the drain.
Whenever words like 'combat' are used to describe a new idea, with its suggestion of strong decisive action; you can be sure that it will be nothing of the sort.
I reckon the best thing to do would be to talk a bit tougher and start 'Waging War on Truancy'
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Intervene?
Man of the People, David Cameron; said yesterday:
'If children are misbehaving we should say something. If we're met by a volley of abuse then other adults have a duty to intervene. We don't want to live in a walk-on-by society.'
This is absolutely right, however if unlike Mr Cameron; you aren't fortunate enough to have a bodyguard or two, then intervening can often lead to a beating or worse. Peter Woodhams discovered this, as have many others.
Mind you; if you are lucky enough to escape or get the better of these 'misbehaving children' then rest assured the present legal system will ensure that you are prosecuted for something.
'If children are misbehaving we should say something. If we're met by a volley of abuse then other adults have a duty to intervene. We don't want to live in a walk-on-by society.'
This is absolutely right, however if unlike Mr Cameron; you aren't fortunate enough to have a bodyguard or two, then intervening can often lead to a beating or worse. Peter Woodhams discovered this, as have many others.
Mind you; if you are lucky enough to escape or get the better of these 'misbehaving children' then rest assured the present legal system will ensure that you are prosecuted for something.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Oh Happy Day!
Today is clearly my lucky day as the following email arrived this morning:
CONFIDENTIAL PROPOSAL FROM
MR,IBRU,KUMAR,
THE CHIEF AUDITOR INCHARGE,
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK (ADB).
OUAGADOUGOU
BURKINA FASO.
WEST AFRICA.
Dear Partner,
I presumed that all is well with you and your family. Please let this do not be a surprise proposal to you because i got your contact information from the international directory in few weeks ago before i decided to contact you on this magintude and lucrative transaction for our future survival in life. Moreover, i have laid all the solemn trust in you before i decided to disclose this successful & confidential transaction to you. I AM MR.IBRU.KUMAR THE CHIEF AUDITOR INCHARGE OF FOREIGN REMITTANCE UNIT of our bank and i have had the intent to contact you over this financial transaction worth the sum of NINTEEN MILLION, THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS ($19,300,000.00 ) for our success.This is an abandoned sum that belongs to one of our bank foreign customers who died along with his entire family through plane crash disaster since few years ago.
Meanwhile i was very fortune to came across the deceased file when i was arranging the old and abandoned customers files in other to sign and submit to the entire bank management for an official re-documentation and audit of the year against 2007. Be informed clearly that it was stated in our banking rules and regulations which was signed lawfully that if such fund remains unclaimed till the period of 5 years started from the date when the beneficiary died, the money will be transferred into the treasury as an unclaimed fund.
As an honour and advantage bestowed to our foreign customers base on the rules guideing our bank, it was stated obviously that if you are not a Burkina Faso citizen, you have the absolute authority to claim the fund hence you are a foreigner despite your differences from the country of origin of the deceased. So the request of you as a foreigner is necessary to apply for the claim and transfer of the fund smoothly into your reliable bank account as the NEXT OF KIN OR EXTENDED RELATIVE to the deceased.
On the transfer of this fund into your account, { 39% } being ( US$7,527,000.00) will be your share in respect of the account provision and your assistance rendered during the transfer of the fund into your bank account,{ 52% } being (US$10,036,000.00) will be my share being the codinator of the transaction while the rest { 9% } being (US$1,737,000.00) will be shared to the respectable Organisations Centers such as Charity Organisation, Motherless Babies homes, and helpless disabled people in the World.
If you are really sure of your trustworthy, accountability and confidentiality on his transaction, contact me and agree that you will not change your mind to cheat or disappoint me when the fund have getting into your account. Besides you should not entertain any fear because i am sure of the success as an insider in the bank ok. Please reply with the assurance, include your private telephone and fax numbers necessary for facilitate an easy communication in this transaction. I expect your urgent communication.
Yours sincerely,
mr,ibru
What good luck for me to have been selected out of all the people in the World who are not citizens of Burkina Faso!
I think we can trust Mr Ibru, as he is the Chief Auditor Incharge in a country whose banking reputation is beyond reproach. As I do not need the money (having recently invested in a Nigerian Pyramid Selling Scheme), I am passing on this opportunity to any reader who wishes to take advantage of this 'lucrative transaction for our future survival in life'
If however you would feel guilty at profiteering from the poor people who died in that 'plane crash disaster since few years ago', you may wish to provide the email address of your your Head or perhaps the parents of a pupil that you believe to be particularly deserving, so that they can benefit instead. (Remember that they must not be citizens of Burkina Faso)
Oh by the way, Mr Ibru can be contacted at ibru_kumar@myway.com
CONFIDENTIAL PROPOSAL FROM
MR,IBRU,KUMAR,
THE CHIEF AUDITOR INCHARGE,
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK (ADB).
OUAGADOUGOU
BURKINA FASO.
WEST AFRICA.
Dear Partner,
I presumed that all is well with you and your family. Please let this do not be a surprise proposal to you because i got your contact information from the international directory in few weeks ago before i decided to contact you on this magintude and lucrative transaction for our future survival in life. Moreover, i have laid all the solemn trust in you before i decided to disclose this successful & confidential transaction to you. I AM MR.IBRU.KUMAR THE CHIEF AUDITOR INCHARGE OF FOREIGN REMITTANCE UNIT of our bank and i have had the intent to contact you over this financial transaction worth the sum of NINTEEN MILLION, THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS ($19,300,000.00 ) for our success.This is an abandoned sum that belongs to one of our bank foreign customers who died along with his entire family through plane crash disaster since few years ago.
Meanwhile i was very fortune to came across the deceased file when i was arranging the old and abandoned customers files in other to sign and submit to the entire bank management for an official re-documentation and audit of the year against 2007. Be informed clearly that it was stated in our banking rules and regulations which was signed lawfully that if such fund remains unclaimed till the period of 5 years started from the date when the beneficiary died, the money will be transferred into the treasury as an unclaimed fund.
As an honour and advantage bestowed to our foreign customers base on the rules guideing our bank, it was stated obviously that if you are not a Burkina Faso citizen, you have the absolute authority to claim the fund hence you are a foreigner despite your differences from the country of origin of the deceased. So the request of you as a foreigner is necessary to apply for the claim and transfer of the fund smoothly into your reliable bank account as the NEXT OF KIN OR EXTENDED RELATIVE to the deceased.
On the transfer of this fund into your account, { 39% } being ( US$7,527,000.00) will be your share in respect of the account provision and your assistance rendered during the transfer of the fund into your bank account,{ 52% } being (US$10,036,000.00) will be my share being the codinator of the transaction while the rest { 9% } being (US$1,737,000.00) will be shared to the respectable Organisations Centers such as Charity Organisation, Motherless Babies homes, and helpless disabled people in the World.
If you are really sure of your trustworthy, accountability and confidentiality on his transaction, contact me and agree that you will not change your mind to cheat or disappoint me when the fund have getting into your account. Besides you should not entertain any fear because i am sure of the success as an insider in the bank ok. Please reply with the assurance, include your private telephone and fax numbers necessary for facilitate an easy communication in this transaction. I expect your urgent communication.
Yours sincerely,
mr,ibru
What good luck for me to have been selected out of all the people in the World who are not citizens of Burkina Faso!
I think we can trust Mr Ibru, as he is the Chief Auditor Incharge in a country whose banking reputation is beyond reproach. As I do not need the money (having recently invested in a Nigerian Pyramid Selling Scheme), I am passing on this opportunity to any reader who wishes to take advantage of this 'lucrative transaction for our future survival in life'
If however you would feel guilty at profiteering from the poor people who died in that 'plane crash disaster since few years ago', you may wish to provide the email address of your your Head or perhaps the parents of a pupil that you believe to be particularly deserving, so that they can benefit instead. (Remember that they must not be citizens of Burkina Faso)
Oh by the way, Mr Ibru can be contacted at ibru_kumar@myway.com
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Notes
I know I've said this before, but I'm finally getting round to putting some notes up about 'It's Your Time...' (Link is on the right hand sidebar under the adverts)
By the way; if you were to make a TV series based on the book (and I can't say any more than this at the moment) how would you go about presenting it? ie would you make it in the style of any current shows?
Veteran readers of the blog will quickly realise that I am unashamedly trying to get you to do my own work for me. (I told you I was SMT material..)
By the way; if you were to make a TV series based on the book (and I can't say any more than this at the moment) how would you go about presenting it? ie would you make it in the style of any current shows?
Veteran readers of the blog will quickly realise that I am unashamedly trying to get you to do my own work for me. (I told you I was SMT material..)
Friday, March 23, 2007
School Leaving Age Going Up
I can't help but think that this distracts attention from our biggest problem which is the complete lack of discipline in many schools which makes it impossible to teach.
Do we seriously imagine that anything planned for 2015 is really going to happen?
You may have heard me wittering the above on 'Five Live' yesterday. I felt a bit sorry for the other teacher who had clearly been sent by his Head with orders to say as many good things about his school as possible.
Do we seriously imagine that anything planned for 2015 is really going to happen?
You may have heard me wittering the above on 'Five Live' yesterday. I felt a bit sorry for the other teacher who had clearly been sent by his Head with orders to say as many good things about his school as possible.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
US vs UK
Have a read of this article and imagine a parent coming into a UK school uninvited, swearing a bit and making some threats. (ie the average end to a school day)
Why can't I imagine them being chucked in jail and only released on a £400 bond?
Why can't I imagine them being chucked in jail and only released on a £400 bond?
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Nathan and Ruby
Here's two twelve year olds, Nathan and Ruby. Nathan is a very bright boy with a sharp mind and a quick reply to any comment I might have. He can argue confidently with adults and frequently does. Ruby is an average girl; pleasant, not particularly intelligent or talented in any respect.
Ruby will do far better in life than Nathan. I can say that with sadness but with certainty. Ruby comes from a nice, supportive, quite well off family who can afford to send her to a boarding school. She is taught in small classes along with other well behaved pupils of similar ability. She associates and makes friends with other girls who will also go to good universities. If she struggles, she will be given extra help and her father will pay for a tutor occasionally during the school holidays. Ruby has every possible chance to make a great start in life.
Nathan on the other hand; lives in the Cherry Tree Estate. A run down, crime ridden hell hole populated with the workshy and the criminal. Drugs, gangs and asbos are rife. He can only attend the local school, which is little more than a youth club, staffed by an endless rota of disinterested supply teachers and 'led' by a Head who is desperately seeking a post elsewhere. There is no discipline and no real chance to learn anything. Most lessons are little short of anarchy. Every desk and exercise book is covered in obscene graffiti. All around him Nathan sees examples of anti social behaviour without consequence. He cannot attract the teacher's attention because they are too busy trying and failing to prevent the lesson sliding into chaos. Nathan's friends are starting to experiment with drugs and get involved in a depressing spiral of vandalism, violence and theft. He is following them down this road, as he can see no alternative path.
Nathan never really had a chance from the day he was born. I taught so many kids like him that they blur together in my mind.
There are hundreds of thousands of Rubys and Nathans in the UK marching towards their pre ordained futures. It is massively unjust and terribly sad.
I've always said in my blog and in my book that it's no use moaning about something unless you propose a solution. Mine as I've said many times is 'selection by ability'. I would dearly like to put children like Nathan in schools where they would be taught by the best teachers who don't spend their days trying to do crowd control. I'd like to see kids like Nathan experience a work ethos and associate with kids who don't sniff glue. I'd like to show him that there is life outside the Cherry Tree Estate. In short, I'd like to give him the same chances as Ruby has. It will not happen until we are brave enough to risk being called 'elitist' or 'old fashioned' and admit that the Comprehensive Education system simply does not work. Until that moment we are simply fooling ourselves and betraying poor Nathan.
Ruby will do far better in life than Nathan. I can say that with sadness but with certainty. Ruby comes from a nice, supportive, quite well off family who can afford to send her to a boarding school. She is taught in small classes along with other well behaved pupils of similar ability. She associates and makes friends with other girls who will also go to good universities. If she struggles, she will be given extra help and her father will pay for a tutor occasionally during the school holidays. Ruby has every possible chance to make a great start in life.
Nathan on the other hand; lives in the Cherry Tree Estate. A run down, crime ridden hell hole populated with the workshy and the criminal. Drugs, gangs and asbos are rife. He can only attend the local school, which is little more than a youth club, staffed by an endless rota of disinterested supply teachers and 'led' by a Head who is desperately seeking a post elsewhere. There is no discipline and no real chance to learn anything. Most lessons are little short of anarchy. Every desk and exercise book is covered in obscene graffiti. All around him Nathan sees examples of anti social behaviour without consequence. He cannot attract the teacher's attention because they are too busy trying and failing to prevent the lesson sliding into chaos. Nathan's friends are starting to experiment with drugs and get involved in a depressing spiral of vandalism, violence and theft. He is following them down this road, as he can see no alternative path.
Nathan never really had a chance from the day he was born. I taught so many kids like him that they blur together in my mind.
There are hundreds of thousands of Rubys and Nathans in the UK marching towards their pre ordained futures. It is massively unjust and terribly sad.
I've always said in my blog and in my book that it's no use moaning about something unless you propose a solution. Mine as I've said many times is 'selection by ability'. I would dearly like to put children like Nathan in schools where they would be taught by the best teachers who don't spend their days trying to do crowd control. I'd like to see kids like Nathan experience a work ethos and associate with kids who don't sniff glue. I'd like to show him that there is life outside the Cherry Tree Estate. In short, I'd like to give him the same chances as Ruby has. It will not happen until we are brave enough to risk being called 'elitist' or 'old fashioned' and admit that the Comprehensive Education system simply does not work. Until that moment we are simply fooling ourselves and betraying poor Nathan.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Petition Response 2
I only got to the end of the second paragraph last time so let's have a look at the rest of the Government dogsbody's response to my petition.
Paragraph 3: We have already scoffed at the negligible number of parents taken action against compared with the number of truants. The rest of the paragraph neatly demonstrates just how many obstacles are put in the way of any action. (It also assumes that the Local Authority will have the slightest interest in getting involved which they rarely do.) The greatest sanction is that the parent might be asked to attend a 'parenting program'. (With no penalty if they don't).
Well that will certainly sort them out!
Paragraph 4: I don't want disruptive pupils in mainstream schools. I want them thrown out and taught in secure units, preferably underground.
Paragraph 5: All schools do indeed have a discipline policy. Unfortunately the children can ignore it with impunity.
Well that's what I think of their response. If I was marking it for a 'dodge the issue' competition, I'd give it an 'A'
Paragraph 3: We have already scoffed at the negligible number of parents taken action against compared with the number of truants. The rest of the paragraph neatly demonstrates just how many obstacles are put in the way of any action. (It also assumes that the Local Authority will have the slightest interest in getting involved which they rarely do.) The greatest sanction is that the parent might be asked to attend a 'parenting program'. (With no penalty if they don't).
Well that will certainly sort them out!
Paragraph 4: I don't want disruptive pupils in mainstream schools. I want them thrown out and taught in secure units, preferably underground.
Paragraph 5: All schools do indeed have a discipline policy. Unfortunately the children can ignore it with impunity.
Well that's what I think of their response. If I was marking it for a 'dodge the issue' competition, I'd give it an 'A'
Just Say 'No'. (Or 'yes'; it doesn't really matter)
A couple of teachers have emailed me recently to say that their school has abandoned its 'zero tolerance' approach to drug use, as their Heads are not prepared to face up to the number of expulsions it would require.
My view is that it's the usual 'Head in the sand' situation. Do nothing and you encourage it, expel a few and you show that you mean business. Kids are not slow to realise this.
What's your school's approach? Action or acceptance?
My view is that it's the usual 'Head in the sand' situation. Do nothing and you encourage it, expel a few and you show that you mean business. Kids are not slow to realise this.
What's your school's approach? Action or acceptance?
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Anyone fancy the Head's job here?
Haven't these people read the Government Menial's response to my petition? Don't they know that everything is fine in schools now and whinging old gits like me are just moaning about nothing.
Headmaster Mark Morrall says that the behaviour of his pupils is mostly very good. Hmmm. why's he leaving after just 12 months then? Wouldn't it be great if he had the courage to be honest and just say:
"Actually they're a nightmare and I'm not daft. Bye!"
This article is chock full of funny quotes so I'll shut up and let you read it.
Headmaster Mark Morrall says that the behaviour of his pupils is mostly very good. Hmmm. why's he leaving after just 12 months then? Wouldn't it be great if he had the courage to be honest and just say:
"Actually they're a nightmare and I'm not daft. Bye!"
This article is chock full of funny quotes so I'll shut up and let you read it.
Monday, March 12, 2007
How could they...
I would certainly never suggest for an instant that Drama or Media Studies are in any way less serious subjects than Chemistry or German. (Unlike Dr. Coe)
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Petition Response
Many thanks to the 1267 people who signed the petition to No. 10. We didn't do quite as well as more important requests such as this one or this one
In fact I wouldn't be surprised if this didn't beat us eventually but never mind.
The Government's response is here and it's well worth a read.
Firstly they admit that behaviour in some schools is unsatisfactory (I'd have used the words 'beyond belief') and admit that teachers in a small minority of schools have to regularly face poor behaviour. I don't believe that it's a small minority, do you?
They then claim to have taken radical action to address this problem. That sounds pretty good so let's have a closer look.
'Headteachers have the power to exclude pupils' (Haven't they always had the power to do that?) However now there is an appeals procedure which overturns the Heads decision in 1 out of 10 cases. Chucking out nightmare pupils is an extremely difficult process for Heads involving numerous unnecessary steps, which is why so many do anything they can to avoid it. Why not have each Council provide secure units for excluded brats, so they don't just get moved around to cause mayhem in another school.
This also doesn't quite tie in with Estelle Morris' announcement in 1998 that 'Heads should think twice before taking severe action against children found with drugs such as cannabis.'
They have also introduced tougher fines for truancy. (Presumably they mean fines for the truant's parents.) How many parents of truanting kids do you know who have actually had any action taken against them?
I've only got to the end of the second paragraph and already I've lost all hope. What do you think to the rest of it?
In fact I wouldn't be surprised if this didn't beat us eventually but never mind.
The Government's response is here and it's well worth a read.
Firstly they admit that behaviour in some schools is unsatisfactory (I'd have used the words 'beyond belief') and admit that teachers in a small minority of schools have to regularly face poor behaviour. I don't believe that it's a small minority, do you?
They then claim to have taken radical action to address this problem. That sounds pretty good so let's have a closer look.
'Headteachers have the power to exclude pupils' (Haven't they always had the power to do that?) However now there is an appeals procedure which overturns the Heads decision in 1 out of 10 cases. Chucking out nightmare pupils is an extremely difficult process for Heads involving numerous unnecessary steps, which is why so many do anything they can to avoid it. Why not have each Council provide secure units for excluded brats, so they don't just get moved around to cause mayhem in another school.
This also doesn't quite tie in with Estelle Morris' announcement in 1998 that 'Heads should think twice before taking severe action against children found with drugs such as cannabis.'
They have also introduced tougher fines for truancy. (Presumably they mean fines for the truant's parents.) How many parents of truanting kids do you know who have actually had any action taken against them?
I've only got to the end of the second paragraph and already I've lost all hope. What do you think to the rest of it?
Can't You All Behave Yourselves?
I go away for a week and look what happens...
Poor Toni Comer, whilst taking a break from looking after her two year old, accidently got howling drunk, was thrown out of a nightclub, vandalised someone's car, then punched, bit and spat at the poor copper unlucky enough to have to arrest her. Obviously she is a victim who needs urgent compensation.
This chap is sacked for saying things that he knew to be true, but which fall into the category of 'Things you can't say'
20 % of parents can't get their kid into their first choice of school. Tony B says that the solution is to have more good schools. Now why didn't anybody else think of that?
Poor Toni Comer, whilst taking a break from looking after her two year old, accidently got howling drunk, was thrown out of a nightclub, vandalised someone's car, then punched, bit and spat at the poor copper unlucky enough to have to arrest her. Obviously she is a victim who needs urgent compensation.
This chap is sacked for saying things that he knew to be true, but which fall into the category of 'Things you can't say'
20 % of parents can't get their kid into their first choice of school. Tony B says that the solution is to have more good schools. Now why didn't anybody else think of that?
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
PC Daniel Coffill
Have a read of this awful story on Inspector Gadget's blog. It just about sums up everything that is wrong with our society today.
The two wretches who did this were once perfectly average little boys. Lack of willingness by parents and schools to discipline them and tell them what is right and what is wrong made them into disruptive, violent and unpleasant young adults.
Then they encounter a Police Force hampered by endless petty restrictions, forms and political correctness together with a legal system which has caved into Government pressure to keep crime figures down at any cost by making prosecutions ever harder and sentencing ever lighter. In charge of all this we have a Government who prefer to let criminals roam the streets rather than admit that we need to build a lot more jails.
The result is the awful tragedy of PC Daniel Coffill and his final kick in the teeth as yet another judge demonstrates the huge gulf separating them from mainstream public opinion by deciding to let his attackers out a bit earlier so that they can continue to behave in exactly the same way.
The two wretches who did this were once perfectly average little boys. Lack of willingness by parents and schools to discipline them and tell them what is right and what is wrong made them into disruptive, violent and unpleasant young adults.
Then they encounter a Police Force hampered by endless petty restrictions, forms and political correctness together with a legal system which has caved into Government pressure to keep crime figures down at any cost by making prosecutions ever harder and sentencing ever lighter. In charge of all this we have a Government who prefer to let criminals roam the streets rather than admit that we need to build a lot more jails.
The result is the awful tragedy of PC Daniel Coffill and his final kick in the teeth as yet another judge demonstrates the huge gulf separating them from mainstream public opinion by deciding to let his attackers out a bit earlier so that they can continue to behave in exactly the same way.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
My SMT Is Madder Than Yours...
This story arrived today courtesy of 'The Striker'.
"Have you heard the story about the school (The Billericay School, Essex) that has banned children from eating their lunch using tables a chairs?
Apparently, there is a problem with litter (i.e. food bits) in the playground that attracts pigeons etc. The schools way of dealing with this 'Health & Safety' issue is to stop the children who purchase lunch items from taking it out of the school hall/canteen area. However, this has caused a congestion problem within the hall (forward thinking obviously not one of the skills of the SMT). The solution to the this additional problem? The removal of tables & chairs from the hall, because this is now another 'Health & Safety' issue.
Call me old fashioned, but there must still be some children who use things called 'knife & fork' so I'm not sure how the school expects the children to eat their dinner while standing. Silly me, they can sit on the floor! Is the SMT of this school just stark raving bonkers, or is it just me? Someone from the SMT must have thought 'this would be a good idea' and what really gets me, is that no one had the guts to say, 'hold on a second, are we sure about this?"
I've no supporting evidence for this story (email me if you know anything about it) but it does sound daft enough that it could be true and provides us with a neat starting point for a new competition entitled:
'My SMT is Crazier Than Yours'
Entrants must submit an example of an SMT decision, proposal, climbdown, idea or policy which demonstrates complete and utter madness. Back it up with evidence if possible (ie witness or news link)
Closing date for entries is the 10th March. Judges decision is final.
"Have you heard the story about the school (The Billericay School, Essex) that has banned children from eating their lunch using tables a chairs?
Apparently, there is a problem with litter (i.e. food bits) in the playground that attracts pigeons etc. The schools way of dealing with this 'Health & Safety' issue is to stop the children who purchase lunch items from taking it out of the school hall/canteen area. However, this has caused a congestion problem within the hall (forward thinking obviously not one of the skills of the SMT). The solution to the this additional problem? The removal of tables & chairs from the hall, because this is now another 'Health & Safety' issue.
Call me old fashioned, but there must still be some children who use things called 'knife & fork' so I'm not sure how the school expects the children to eat their dinner while standing. Silly me, they can sit on the floor! Is the SMT of this school just stark raving bonkers, or is it just me? Someone from the SMT must have thought 'this would be a good idea' and what really gets me, is that no one had the guts to say, 'hold on a second, are we sure about this?"
I've no supporting evidence for this story (email me if you know anything about it) but it does sound daft enough that it could be true and provides us with a neat starting point for a new competition entitled:
'My SMT is Crazier Than Yours'
Entrants must submit an example of an SMT decision, proposal, climbdown, idea or policy which demonstrates complete and utter madness. Back it up with evidence if possible (ie witness or news link)
Closing date for entries is the 10th March. Judges decision is final.
Way off Topic
Would all car manufacturers please note the following:
1) 'Sport' is an activity carried out for enjoyment which makes gives you a pleasant feeling of tiredness and well being afterwards, along with a good helping of mud. It is not a badge to put on the side of over powered cars which encourage dimwits like Wayne to believe that he is James Bond.
2) 'Off Road' is where walkers, runners and mountain bikers belong. Vehicles should stay 'On Road' or risk being pelted with stones.
1) 'Sport' is an activity carried out for enjoyment which makes gives you a pleasant feeling of tiredness and well being afterwards, along with a good helping of mud. It is not a badge to put on the side of over powered cars which encourage dimwits like Wayne to believe that he is James Bond.
2) 'Off Road' is where walkers, runners and mountain bikers belong. Vehicles should stay 'On Road' or risk being pelted with stones.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Please make your way to the Deportures Gate...
My suggestion for what to do with this wretch is pretty simple as you might expect. Send him out to Afghanistan or Iraq. Not, I hasten to add to burden the Army or the Marines, but simply deported, so he can't bother us any more. We have been far far too lenient with this type of feckless, weak willed individual who is absolutely no use to our country whatsoever.
Hang on a minute though... What's that kid behind him doing?
Friday, February 23, 2007
Lions led by Donkeys
Mrs Chalk is also a teacher, but unlike me she is a first class one; held in high regard by pupils and other teachers at her school. She is not interested in promotion which is just as well, since she would have about as much chance of being promoted as I would of winning the Booker Prize.
Her problem is simple; she constantly makes the fatal mistakes of refusing to ignore poor behaviour, of speaking out when something is clearly wrong or not working properly and worst of all; standing up to the weak willed, helpless cases who run the place. I've tried to talk her out of these foolish notions but to no avail.
In the last twelve months she has been rebuked for shouting at pupils, criticising parents, upsetting the Education Welfare Officer, making the School Psychologist cry and annoying just about every member of SMT together with a whole host of other things which should be compulsory behaviour. The fact that she hasn't had a day off in years and her results are far better than the average doesn't count for much.
There are teachers like Mrs C in every school I've ever worked in. They deserve our admiration and respect, for they highlight the most fundamental problem in State Schools:
Those who lead them are weak.
They have their excuses ready to trot out at the drop of a baseball hat:
"There's nothing we can do"
"We've decided that Shane deserves another chance"
"Shazney has a difficult home life"
We all know that Heads don't have as much power to discipline kids as they should have, but we also know that they could do a lot more than they actually do. (Exclusion, and to Hell with how the figures look; or involving the Police and the Courts. In fact just dragging the parents in and laying down the law in no uncertain terms rather than backing down to avoid a confrontation, would often be enough from a strong leader)
Generally however they prefer not to admit to problems in their school and either cover bad things up or pass them back down the ladder. What so many fail to realise is that in the eyes of the teachers who look up to them for support; trying and failing is so much more impressive than not trying at all.
Her problem is simple; she constantly makes the fatal mistakes of refusing to ignore poor behaviour, of speaking out when something is clearly wrong or not working properly and worst of all; standing up to the weak willed, helpless cases who run the place. I've tried to talk her out of these foolish notions but to no avail.
In the last twelve months she has been rebuked for shouting at pupils, criticising parents, upsetting the Education Welfare Officer, making the School Psychologist cry and annoying just about every member of SMT together with a whole host of other things which should be compulsory behaviour. The fact that she hasn't had a day off in years and her results are far better than the average doesn't count for much.
There are teachers like Mrs C in every school I've ever worked in. They deserve our admiration and respect, for they highlight the most fundamental problem in State Schools:
Those who lead them are weak.
They have their excuses ready to trot out at the drop of a baseball hat:
"There's nothing we can do"
"We've decided that Shane deserves another chance"
"Shazney has a difficult home life"
We all know that Heads don't have as much power to discipline kids as they should have, but we also know that they could do a lot more than they actually do. (Exclusion, and to Hell with how the figures look; or involving the Police and the Courts. In fact just dragging the parents in and laying down the law in no uncertain terms rather than backing down to avoid a confrontation, would often be enough from a strong leader)
Generally however they prefer not to admit to problems in their school and either cover bad things up or pass them back down the ladder. What so many fail to realise is that in the eyes of the teachers who look up to them for support; trying and failing is so much more impressive than not trying at all.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Hidden truths
After reading an article in the Sunday Times alleging that lots of eggs and chicken sold as 'organic' by the supermarkets are anything but; I started to wonder if there are any blogs by Supermarket Buyers.
I've tried to do my bit and publicise the scandalous state of Comprehensive Education in Britain today, Copperfield has disavowed us of any foolish notions that the Police spend their time catching criminals and Dr. Crippen reveals where our money is burnt in the NHS. There must be plenty of other murky secrets that should be brought to the Public's attention, so let me know if you are aware of any bloggers doing this and I'll add them to the sidebar.
I've tried to do my bit and publicise the scandalous state of Comprehensive Education in Britain today, Copperfield has disavowed us of any foolish notions that the Police spend their time catching criminals and Dr. Crippen reveals where our money is burnt in the NHS. There must be plenty of other murky secrets that should be brought to the Public's attention, so let me know if you are aware of any bloggers doing this and I'll add them to the sidebar.
No More Spam For Us (hopefully)
A deluge of spam from people who seem to think that my readers are desperate for Viagra, dubious pictures and homemade drugs means that you now have to type in some random letters to show that you are a real person each time you leave a comment.
Sorry about the extra hassle.
Sorry about the extra hassle.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
We're On The Road To Nowhere...
(Sorry, the link has somehow disappeared.) Is anybody really surprised by the fact that two thirds of Comprehensive School teachers don't have degrees in the subject that they teach? Or that thousands of student teachers last year failed basic literacy and numeracy tests that they took as part of their course (and then were allowed to resit as many times as necessary)?
Whilst there are still some brilliant people going into State Education, the average ability of new trainees is in terminal decline, due to the simple fact that teaching is no longer very appealing to Bright Young Things who know exactly how bad Inner City Comprehensives are, and have no desire to have anything to do with them. This only leaves the highly devoted and the absolutely hopeless.
Ever worsening conditions of employment have left us desperate. The only qualification necessary for a job at St Thickchilds is a pulse.
You can get onto a BEd course nowadays with two poor A Levels and a few years later be stood in front of a group of possibly far cleverer kids trying to learn for their own exams. I encountered dozens of 'teachers' throughout my career who had little grasp of the subject they were attempting to teach.
My opinion is that it's the working conditions that are the problem, more so than the pay.
Say you were given a choice. On the one hand, you can have a nice, clean graffiti-free classroom, strict, properly enforced school rules (which would result in a massive decrease in poor behaviour from both children and parents). No more silly forms to fill in, targets to make up and a more sensible curriculum. OR you can have a pay rise. How much would you want before it became more desirable than the first option?
Whilst there are still some brilliant people going into State Education, the average ability of new trainees is in terminal decline, due to the simple fact that teaching is no longer very appealing to Bright Young Things who know exactly how bad Inner City Comprehensives are, and have no desire to have anything to do with them. This only leaves the highly devoted and the absolutely hopeless.
Ever worsening conditions of employment have left us desperate. The only qualification necessary for a job at St Thickchilds is a pulse.
You can get onto a BEd course nowadays with two poor A Levels and a few years later be stood in front of a group of possibly far cleverer kids trying to learn for their own exams. I encountered dozens of 'teachers' throughout my career who had little grasp of the subject they were attempting to teach.
My opinion is that it's the working conditions that are the problem, more so than the pay.
Say you were given a choice. On the one hand, you can have a nice, clean graffiti-free classroom, strict, properly enforced school rules (which would result in a massive decrease in poor behaviour from both children and parents). No more silly forms to fill in, targets to make up and a more sensible curriculum. OR you can have a pay rise. How much would you want before it became more desirable than the first option?
Time's Running Out
The last date for signing the petition is in a couple of weeks so please sign it if you agree with its aims and haven't yet done so.
It's ranked about 140th which isn't too bad since I chose to leave it up for a shorter time period than many of the others and the site simply rates them in order of the total number of signatures. There are a few entertaining ones and some poor Government minion will no doubt get the job of replying to them all.
By the way I've discovered why the lady who blogs about living in a cottage somewhere is all over the Sunday Times. It's because she used to work for them!
It's ranked about 140th which isn't too bad since I chose to leave it up for a shorter time period than many of the others and the site simply rates them in order of the total number of signatures. There are a few entertaining ones and some poor Government minion will no doubt get the job of replying to them all.
By the way I've discovered why the lady who blogs about living in a cottage somewhere is all over the Sunday Times. It's because she used to work for them!
Monday, February 19, 2007
Book Reviews
Here's a couple of book reviews for your amusement:
Amazon Scroll down to Richard Knight's review on Feb 7th. I don't think that he's a big fan of mine but nevertheless I owe him a great debt of thanks for giving me an excellent idea:
No matter what we might think of Jeremy Clarkson, the indisputable truth is that he has sold over 2 million books, making him one of Britain's most popular authors. If we can start the rumour that I am actually him; then before you know it, myself and Mrs C will be frolicking in the Bahamas. I urge all readers to spread the word whilst I nip into town for some Levis and a nice perm.
City Journal This one's by Theodore Dalrymple. I'm not sure whether 'Gogol' is just 'Google' spelt wrongly. I shall email him to ask.
Amazon Scroll down to Richard Knight's review on Feb 7th. I don't think that he's a big fan of mine but nevertheless I owe him a great debt of thanks for giving me an excellent idea:
No matter what we might think of Jeremy Clarkson, the indisputable truth is that he has sold over 2 million books, making him one of Britain's most popular authors. If we can start the rumour that I am actually him; then before you know it, myself and Mrs C will be frolicking in the Bahamas. I urge all readers to spread the word whilst I nip into town for some Levis and a nice perm.
City Journal This one's by Theodore Dalrymple. I'm not sure whether 'Gogol' is just 'Google' spelt wrongly. I shall email him to ask.
Jealousy is a Terrible Thing
Sorry about the lack of posts, I've been away for a few days visiting some old friends who live in rural Derbyshire. This really is a lovely part of the Country, with lots of hills for walking up and endless opportunities to say to the locals; "Do you live in Hope?"
According to The Times, a lady called Judith O'Reilly has been given a £70 000 book deal for her blog which seems to be about living in the North of England after living in the South. Have a read of it here. If you like it, I'll put a link on the sidebar.
Copperfield and I thought we were doing really well when we got taken out for a curry by our Editor...
According to The Times, a lady called Judith O'Reilly has been given a £70 000 book deal for her blog which seems to be about living in the North of England after living in the South. Have a read of it here. If you like it, I'll put a link on the sidebar.
Copperfield and I thought we were doing really well when we got taken out for a curry by our Editor...
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Home Alone
After the enthusiastic response to the last two questions about schooling, here's a third which I think is a harder one:
'Would you educate your child at home?'
Ok they would probably be able to pass their GCSEs at the age of nine but would they not end up a bit odd from missing out on all the other stuff kids learn at school (drugs, violence, anti-social behaviour, gangs, cider, sex...)
Say whether you would do it as a last resort (ie local comps are War Zones and you can't afford the Private School fees) or whether you might consider it regardless.
You don't need any qualifications to home school by the way. The Council just check up on you every so often. (Probably about as often as they fill in potholes, but I don't really know)
'Would you educate your child at home?'
Ok they would probably be able to pass their GCSEs at the age of nine but would they not end up a bit odd from missing out on all the other stuff kids learn at school (drugs, violence, anti-social behaviour, gangs, cider, sex...)
Say whether you would do it as a last resort (ie local comps are War Zones and you can't afford the Private School fees) or whether you might consider it regardless.
You don't need any qualifications to home school by the way. The Council just check up on you every so often. (Probably about as often as they fill in potholes, but I don't really know)
Sydney here I come!
Good news for all of you in Downunder Land. My book will shortly be published in Australia.
You may note an interesting parallel with the Real World, where action has been replaced by debate. Once upon a time we used to actually send our criminals and their offspring there, now we just send my views on them instead.
I have suggested a book tour of the East Coast, taking in all the diving and surfing areas...
You may note an interesting parallel with the Real World, where action has been replaced by debate. Once upon a time we used to actually send our criminals and their offspring there, now we just send my views on them instead.
I have suggested a book tour of the East Coast, taking in all the diving and surfing areas...
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Voting Result
After 24 hours we've got about 30 'Yes' votes and not a single 'No'. I can't help but think (as Lily said) that it's a pretty terrible comment on the State Education system.
Let's move on to a question posed by a reader in an email yesterday.
"Why are the Private Schools so much better than the State ones?
Let's move on to a question posed by a reader in an email yesterday.
"Why are the Private Schools so much better than the State ones?
NASUWT Support
Get your teeth into this article...
A Teacher writing a book? It's outrageous.
Good to see the NASUWT standing up for her with a message of support. I'm sure if she had simply been a completely useless teacher, or one who is never in; they would be up in arms.
I can't help but wonder why the Head has nothing better to do with his time. Mind you, if I were him, I'd be unable to resist saying: "We were going to investigate this but there's too much at stake..."
(Which may well explain why I was never promoted.)
A Teacher writing a book? It's outrageous.
Good to see the NASUWT standing up for her with a message of support. I'm sure if she had simply been a completely useless teacher, or one who is never in; they would be up in arms.
I can't help but wonder why the Head has nothing better to do with his time. Mind you, if I were him, I'd be unable to resist saying: "We were going to investigate this but there's too much at stake..."
(Which may well explain why I was never promoted.)
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Votes Please
As a commenter on the previous post suggested, let's try to get a rough idea of what percentage of State Teachers would send their kids to Private School.
We'll make a couple of assumptions:
1) You can afford the fees.
2) There isn't a superb State School nearby.
Combined with the fact that not every teacher reads this blog and I've no idea how genuine the responses are, it will obviously be slightly artificial, but then all polls are. Only certain types of people stop to answer questionnaires in the street, fill in forms or even vote in elections. I suspect that it will be interesting though.
State School teachers or former ones only please. We'll tot up the scores after a week.
I'll start the ball rolling:
Mr Chalk: Course I would.
We'll make a couple of assumptions:
1) You can afford the fees.
2) There isn't a superb State School nearby.
Combined with the fact that not every teacher reads this blog and I've no idea how genuine the responses are, it will obviously be slightly artificial, but then all polls are. Only certain types of people stop to answer questionnaires in the street, fill in forms or even vote in elections. I suspect that it will be interesting though.
State School teachers or former ones only please. We'll tot up the scores after a week.
I'll start the ball rolling:
Mr Chalk: Course I would.
Friday, February 09, 2007
NASUWT
As an enthusiastic critic of the Teaching Unions, let me be the first to praise the NASUWT for its efforts at the fairly awful Ridings School in Halifax.
Believe it or not, 71% of their members at the school have decided to actually try and do something about the behaviour of some of the horrors that go there. I hope their efforts are rewarded.
Believe it or not, 71% of their members at the school have decided to actually try and do something about the behaviour of some of the horrors that go there. I hope their efforts are rewarded.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Help, help It's snowing!
I have never understood why some schools close when there is a millimetre of snow on the ground. I'm quite sure that the words 'Health and Safety' would be used to somehow justify everyone sitting at home whilst causing an absolute nightmare for parents who have to go into work as normal and find someone gullible enough to look after their children at short notice.
Worst of all, it just lowers the general public's impression of teachers even more.
If your school is closed for a few days, I dare you to tell everyone that you went on a lastminute.com short skiing break to the Alps...
Worst of all, it just lowers the general public's impression of teachers even more.
If your school is closed for a few days, I dare you to tell everyone that you went on a lastminute.com short skiing break to the Alps...
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Exciting New Ideas and things... (I think)
After following Archduke's link and reading the article twice, I have to confess that I cannot understand any of it. Sorry
Monday, February 05, 2007
Good to see
Good on the organisation called Meco, for taking a stand and doing something. (It doesn't say how much they're going to give but at least they are contributing, which is more than can be said for Buckinghamshire Council)
If this had happened in Caterham, would the group be called Mecca?
If this had happened in Caterham, would the group be called Mecca?
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Need to look for a new school.
Would this bloke have been sacked if he'd said that most IRA bombers were Catholic? I wonder if his Union will stand up for him...
If you're a reader, Mr McLuskey drop me a line and let me know.
If you're a reader, Mr McLuskey drop me a line and let me know.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Attacks on Teachers
But when I read this I knew they had been reading my book. The comments at the end are worth a look too.
Every SMT and Teaching Union should be up in arms and taking action about this sort of stuff. Instead they simply engage in endless debate.
We will read the same story next year and the year after. We are simply on a countdown to the first teacher to be killed at school in the UK.
Every SMT and Teaching Union should be up in arms and taking action about this sort of stuff. Instead they simply engage in endless debate.
We will read the same story next year and the year after. We are simply on a countdown to the first teacher to be killed at school in the UK.
Another me
When I read this, I thought "Has this bloke been reading my blog?"
But the sad truth is there's thousands of teachers in awful schools who could write the same thing.
But the sad truth is there's thousands of teachers in awful schools who could write the same thing.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
I can't think of a 'Sun Style' Headline for this one.
Thanks to Adrian for this little gem. I wonder what else can be seen from low earth orbit...Physicists amongst you, get calculating.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
I wonder if this will be controversial at all...
Boxing may be about to make a return in schools according to this article
My personal view is: Why should the teachers miss out on this?
Who hasn't wanted to beat the hell out of some cheeky parent who is happy to dole out abuse on the phone but might get their comeuppance in the Staffring?
I can just see it now. Mr Blunt is the compere:
"Ladies, Gentlemen and Parents! Welcome to a packed staffroom tonight. In the near corner we've got Mr. Chalk, looking wiry and nimble in those fetching red trunks...(cheers)
His opponent in the far corner; the alleged father of Wayne Scroggins! (Boos) He looks like he's put in plenty of training at the Dog and Partridge."
Seconds away, Round One! Ding-a-ling-a-ling..."
What Head of Department hasn't wanted five minutes in the ring with some whining, useless teacher who is forever pestering them with complaints about Kyle and Shane, but never does anything to help themselves?
Wouldn't you like to let that Supply Teacher know that actually a vague 'sorry' and a shrug of the shoulders before leaving promptly at three pm really wasn't good enough, when they'd left your classroom looking like a Council Refuse Tip and allowed the brats to steal half your equipment?
Boxing in Schools? Bring it on! (But only for the over 18s)
My personal view is: Why should the teachers miss out on this?
Who hasn't wanted to beat the hell out of some cheeky parent who is happy to dole out abuse on the phone but might get their comeuppance in the Staffring?
I can just see it now. Mr Blunt is the compere:
"Ladies, Gentlemen and Parents! Welcome to a packed staffroom tonight. In the near corner we've got Mr. Chalk, looking wiry and nimble in those fetching red trunks...(cheers)
His opponent in the far corner; the alleged father of Wayne Scroggins! (Boos) He looks like he's put in plenty of training at the Dog and Partridge."
Seconds away, Round One! Ding-a-ling-a-ling..."
What Head of Department hasn't wanted five minutes in the ring with some whining, useless teacher who is forever pestering them with complaints about Kyle and Shane, but never does anything to help themselves?
Wouldn't you like to let that Supply Teacher know that actually a vague 'sorry' and a shrug of the shoulders before leaving promptly at three pm really wasn't good enough, when they'd left your classroom looking like a Council Refuse Tip and allowed the brats to steal half your equipment?
Boxing in Schools? Bring it on! (But only for the over 18s)
Shocking Behaviour
Tell your pupils not to do this especially if they live in the US where the Police don't muck about.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Homework
Here's an article questioning whether young children should be given homework.
Before I went to Secondary School, I never received a scrap of homework. I do remember lots of playing games and having a thoroughly good time. If I'd had homework every night at that age, I'm quite sure that it would have put me off school completely.
I'm fairly sure that by the time we left at age 11, every child in my class could read, write and do their tables. Maybe the difference was that when the teacher told us that we had to sit down, listen in silence and learn something, we actually did have to sit down, listen in silence and learn something.
Before I went to Secondary School, I never received a scrap of homework. I do remember lots of playing games and having a thoroughly good time. If I'd had homework every night at that age, I'm quite sure that it would have put me off school completely.
I'm fairly sure that by the time we left at age 11, every child in my class could read, write and do their tables. Maybe the difference was that when the teacher told us that we had to sit down, listen in silence and learn something, we actually did have to sit down, listen in silence and learn something.
Those that can... buy.
There are two routes to becoming a Headteacher.
1) Train as a teacher and enthusiastically adopt every policy dreamt up by those above you; no matter how insane. Fill out every form that comes your way and nod your head frequently during Staff Meetings. Work your way up to Head of Department, keep crawling and agreeing with the SMT, go on endless useless courses and above all, do not stick your neck out supporting anyone with silly old fashioned ideas such as making pupils behave themselves.
Now apply for Deputy Head and be extra vigilant in not supporting anyone below you no matter what. Pepper your speech with the buzzwords of the day and dream up as many ludicrous ideas as you can. Do not rock the boat, upset any parents or accidently expel anyone. Just keep agreeing with the Head and finally apply for position of Headteacher. Bingo!
2) Buy the school
1) Train as a teacher and enthusiastically adopt every policy dreamt up by those above you; no matter how insane. Fill out every form that comes your way and nod your head frequently during Staff Meetings. Work your way up to Head of Department, keep crawling and agreeing with the SMT, go on endless useless courses and above all, do not stick your neck out supporting anyone with silly old fashioned ideas such as making pupils behave themselves.
Now apply for Deputy Head and be extra vigilant in not supporting anyone below you no matter what. Pepper your speech with the buzzwords of the day and dream up as many ludicrous ideas as you can. Do not rock the boat, upset any parents or accidently expel anyone. Just keep agreeing with the Head and finally apply for position of Headteacher. Bingo!
2) Buy the school
Friday, January 26, 2007
Don't copy this idea.
Just in case any of you were planning on stuffing a child's head into the photocopier today...
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/01/26/nhead26.xml
Your comments are of course welcome...
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/01/26/nhead26.xml
Your comments are of course welcome...
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Yes many teenagers are in fact, lazy
Confirmation of Chalk's Fifth Law of Teaching:
"Never, ever listen to anything an 'Academic' says"
http://www.tes.co.uk/2327207
Teenagers went to work early in the morning on time for millenia. Whether it was to work down the mines, milk cows, or carry a bag of flint spear heads for Ug.
This was simply because they were punished if they were late. Now that we seem to regard any form of punishment as barbaric, kids turn up when they feel like it. The well known philosopher, Shane Scroggins summed this up neatly in his declaration:
"You can't make me do nuthin' you say!"
If you are an academic however, dream up some pseudo scientific explanation tailored to make a good headline for the ever more gullible. No doubt schools will fall over themselves to pander to this latest thinking.
"Never, ever listen to anything an 'Academic' says"
http://www.tes.co.uk/2327207
Teenagers went to work early in the morning on time for millenia. Whether it was to work down the mines, milk cows, or carry a bag of flint spear heads for Ug.
This was simply because they were punished if they were late. Now that we seem to regard any form of punishment as barbaric, kids turn up when they feel like it. The well known philosopher, Shane Scroggins summed this up neatly in his declaration:
"You can't make me do nuthin' you say!"
If you are an academic however, dream up some pseudo scientific explanation tailored to make a good headline for the ever more gullible. No doubt schools will fall over themselves to pander to this latest thinking.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
'Mrs Poppleton vs The Kids' Round 2, Seconds away!
Well at least the kids have got the apostrophe on their banner in the right place, which puts them above 90% of the population. (including me, as certain readers have noted.) Maybe their English teacher wasn't on supply.
The parents claim that Mrs Poppleton doesn't listen to them or the kids. That gets her some credit in my view.
The kids claim that 72% of lessons are taken by Supply Teachers. (Mind you if they can do percentages maybe the Maths teacher is regular as well.)
Everybody claims that the argument is nothing to do with body piercings.
By the way, if you have any contact with this school can you drop me an email at the address on the right sidebar. Thanks
The parents claim that Mrs Poppleton doesn't listen to them or the kids. That gets her some credit in my view.
The kids claim that 72% of lessons are taken by Supply Teachers. (Mind you if they can do percentages maybe the Maths teacher is regular as well.)
Everybody claims that the argument is nothing to do with body piercings.
By the way, if you have any contact with this school can you drop me an email at the address on the right sidebar. Thanks
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Supplies, supplies!
Kids at this school are protesting about having too many Supply Teachers. As an ex supply teacher myself, I don't blame them one bit. The school has apparently chucked them out for a fortnight. A Fortnight! They'd have got less for kidnapping the Head.
I reckon that this story will turn out to have more twists than a Mount Everest helter-skelter
I reckon that this story will turn out to have more twists than a Mount Everest helter-skelter
Amo, amas, amat, whack!
My memories of Latin consist of translating sentences along the lines of "The sailors are chasing the girls into the woods whilst the freed slave rejoices!"
When we were not doing this, we were being beaten; as Latin teachers were traditionally very strict.
Anyway, to the point. Latin and Greek are disappearing from schools faster than those sailors above. Last year there were only 864 Classics students starting at University. (As opposed to about 3.5 million doing Media Studies)
Is this another example of the ongoing decline in our Country or should we be glad to see the back of such outdated, archaic stuff?
Talking of Classics- have a look at Rate My Turban
When we were not doing this, we were being beaten; as Latin teachers were traditionally very strict.
Anyway, to the point. Latin and Greek are disappearing from schools faster than those sailors above. Last year there were only 864 Classics students starting at University. (As opposed to about 3.5 million doing Media Studies)
Is this another example of the ongoing decline in our Country or should we be glad to see the back of such outdated, archaic stuff?
Talking of Classics- have a look at Rate My Turban
Load of old Niqabs
Quick summary of this one:
1) Dad spots opportunity to cause trouble at the public expense.
2) The Legal profession rubs its hands with glee.
1) Dad spots opportunity to cause trouble at the public expense.
2) The Legal profession rubs its hands with glee.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Hair today, gone tomorrow.
Hoorah for the legal money spinner that allows this appeal at the taxpayers' expense.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bradford/6282459.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bradford/6282459.stm
It's not Big and It's Certainly not Clever...
Education Minister Alan Johnson announced today that schools need to do more to tackle the sort of behaviour shown on the 'Big Brother' Show.
Author and General Troublemaker, Frank Chalk announced today that schools need to do more to encourage children to develop hobbies and interests rather than sit mindlessly gawping at a bunch of 'Halfwits in a House'.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/6283833.stm
Author and General Troublemaker, Frank Chalk announced today that schools need to do more to encourage children to develop hobbies and interests rather than sit mindlessly gawping at a bunch of 'Halfwits in a House'.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/6283833.stm
Thursday, January 18, 2007
The Unions
Here's a confession that will enrage many a teacher:
"In 14 years of teaching I never joined a Union"
I never saw any evidence in all that time to convince me that the motley collection of Teaching Unions (I can't even remember how many there are now; at least five) were not completely useless. The Government knows full well that the teachers do not speak with a united voice and takes full advantage of this, for example when the GTC was introduced.
I generally kept quiet about my non membership as I got bored of hearing teachers repeating the stuff they'd heard from other people, such as:
"What would happen if you ever had to go to Court if a pupil accused you of hitting them?"
The answer to this is that I would be quite happy to defend myself. (I've been to Court twice before and it's not exactly rocket science. I'm perfectly capable of saying; "I didn't hit Wayne") Alternatively I'd simply get a solicitor free on legal aid so long as I earned less than about £28000 per year. (Check for yourself here).
I think I'd rather be represented by Cherie Blair than take my chances with some solicitor reduced to a job with a teaching Union.
The other oft repeated line is:
"You're getting the advantages of all that the Unions have achieved for us"
To which my genuinely perplexed answer is: "Such as? I work in a dirty classroom without proper heating or ventilation. I get sworn at and threatened by pupils or parents every day and I have to pay £35 per year to the GTC etc etc."
On several occasions during what can laughably be referred to as my career, colleagues announced that they would no longer teach a pupil. This was usually when the pupil had behaved terribly for months on end, the teacher had done all they could and there was no backup from SMT. I was always willing to support them by refusing to take the brat either. Simple direct action like this always works and can help unite a department.
At the end of the day a Union is little more than the sum of it's members. If they aren't prepared to strike or take drastic action then their Union can't do much. Look at other Unions such as ASLEF, whose members fight tooth and nail. (Often for completely hopeless cases, but compare a train drivers pay with your own.)
If we had a single Union representing all teachers, that was prepared to strike over pay, discipline problems, SMT uselessness etc then I would have joined it like a shot but I certainly wasn't prepared to waste my hard earned money on a lame duck
"In 14 years of teaching I never joined a Union"
I never saw any evidence in all that time to convince me that the motley collection of Teaching Unions (I can't even remember how many there are now; at least five) were not completely useless. The Government knows full well that the teachers do not speak with a united voice and takes full advantage of this, for example when the GTC was introduced.
I generally kept quiet about my non membership as I got bored of hearing teachers repeating the stuff they'd heard from other people, such as:
"What would happen if you ever had to go to Court if a pupil accused you of hitting them?"
The answer to this is that I would be quite happy to defend myself. (I've been to Court twice before and it's not exactly rocket science. I'm perfectly capable of saying; "I didn't hit Wayne") Alternatively I'd simply get a solicitor free on legal aid so long as I earned less than about £28000 per year. (Check for yourself here).
I think I'd rather be represented by Cherie Blair than take my chances with some solicitor reduced to a job with a teaching Union.
The other oft repeated line is:
"You're getting the advantages of all that the Unions have achieved for us"
To which my genuinely perplexed answer is: "Such as? I work in a dirty classroom without proper heating or ventilation. I get sworn at and threatened by pupils or parents every day and I have to pay £35 per year to the GTC etc etc."
On several occasions during what can laughably be referred to as my career, colleagues announced that they would no longer teach a pupil. This was usually when the pupil had behaved terribly for months on end, the teacher had done all they could and there was no backup from SMT. I was always willing to support them by refusing to take the brat either. Simple direct action like this always works and can help unite a department.
At the end of the day a Union is little more than the sum of it's members. If they aren't prepared to strike or take drastic action then their Union can't do much. Look at other Unions such as ASLEF, whose members fight tooth and nail. (Often for completely hopeless cases, but compare a train drivers pay with your own.)
If we had a single Union representing all teachers, that was prepared to strike over pay, discipline problems, SMT uselessness etc then I would have joined it like a shot but I certainly wasn't prepared to waste my hard earned money on a lame duck
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Three
Three quick bits as I'm in a rush today, due to my own bad planning:
1) We've already discussed plans to keep pupils in Education of some sort until they are 18. My own viewpoint is that it could be a great idea if it was done properly, but almost certainly won't be; so will fail miserably and be abandoned.
2) It takes a brave man to publicly criticize your own son after he has been killed, and Mr Elgar; father of the 'graffiti artist' (ie mindless vandal) killed by a train, deserves our admiration.
Many other parents who try to defend the worst actions of their offspring could learn a lot from him.
3) Ruth Kelly sending her kid to an expensive public school rather than the local one and coming out with some stuff about 'Special Needs'. Why couldn't she just have been honest and said:
"The State Schools might be good enough for your brats, but not for my child."
1) We've already discussed plans to keep pupils in Education of some sort until they are 18. My own viewpoint is that it could be a great idea if it was done properly, but almost certainly won't be; so will fail miserably and be abandoned.
2) It takes a brave man to publicly criticize your own son after he has been killed, and Mr Elgar; father of the 'graffiti artist' (ie mindless vandal) killed by a train, deserves our admiration.
Many other parents who try to defend the worst actions of their offspring could learn a lot from him.
3) Ruth Kelly sending her kid to an expensive public school rather than the local one and coming out with some stuff about 'Special Needs'. Why couldn't she just have been honest and said:
"The State Schools might be good enough for your brats, but not for my child."
Big Brother
The recent case of alleged bullying in the Temple of Foolishness gives me an excuse to remind you of Chalk's First Law of Recruitment:
Start by asking the prospective employee who their favourite 'Big Brother' contestant is.
If they can give you an answer, say: "Thanks, that'll be all for now and we''ll phone you if we need to see you again. Goodbye!"
Start by asking the prospective employee who their favourite 'Big Brother' contestant is.
If they can give you an answer, say: "Thanks, that'll be all for now and we''ll phone you if we need to see you again. Goodbye!"
Saturday, January 13, 2007
NASUWT
Three cheers for Mary Lewis, Head of Lammack Primary School, Blackburn who has asked parents not to chew gum on the school premises. She claims that it is a litter issue, but I suspect the litter she has in mind is in the form of gormless halfwits mooching aimlessly around with their jaws opening and closing as they try to remember the name of their offspring.
Read the story here
The teaching Union NASUWT described the move as 'heavy handed', (ie she actually did something, rather than just talk about it)
Read the story here
The teaching Union NASUWT described the move as 'heavy handed', (ie she actually did something, rather than just talk about it)
Friday, January 12, 2007
I always knew it was true...
Here's a link for all you Science Teachers out there, who want to get up to speed on a topic which will be appearing on the new GCSE syllabus next year.
http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/
http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/
The News
Next time you're thinking of applying for a job in Glasgow, former City of Culture:
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/tm_headline=text-row-pupil-puts-teacher-in-hospital-&method=full&objectid=18451533&siteid=66633-name_page.html
Meanwhile in pleasant Wiltshire:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uklatest/story/0,,-6339030,00.html
However to cheer us up, here's a heartwarming tale from the US where punctuality is still seen as important. This mother did not want her daughter to be late for an important fight, so she drove her to the venue and stayed to provide moral and physical support.
http://news.bostonherald.com/localRegional/view.bg?articleid=176585
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/tm_headline=text-row-pupil-puts-teacher-in-hospital-&method=full&objectid=18451533&siteid=66633-name_page.html
Meanwhile in pleasant Wiltshire:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uklatest/story/0,,-6339030,00.html
However to cheer us up, here's a heartwarming tale from the US where punctuality is still seen as important. This mother did not want her daughter to be late for an important fight, so she drove her to the venue and stayed to provide moral and physical support.
http://news.bostonherald.com/localRegional/view.bg?articleid=176585
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Turn off the TV and learn the Tea Ceremony
If 76% of those idle enough to be bothered to stop and answer a questionnaire wanted schools to select kids by their academic ability then 100% of those in possession of a full deck of cards would support it.
Whilst Ministers dither endlessly, one Japanese school is leading the way. Get practicing now.
http://mangalorean.com/news.php?newsid=37981&newstype=local
Whilst Ministers dither endlessly, one Japanese school is leading the way. Get practicing now.
http://mangalorean.com/news.php?newsid=37981&newstype=local
Don't do it.
Just in case any of you were thinking of doing some painting with your bottoms, read this story first.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Boys Will Not Be Boys
My memories of school involve play fighting pretty much on a daily basis. Boys have a natural desire to wrestle at the slightest opportunity and we did so enthusiastically. It rarely escalated into full blown punch ups so no harm was done and everyone learned the pecking order from an early age, which is a useful thing to know. (Everyone also learned how to repair their School Uniform as well)
If spotted by a teacher the general punishment varied from a quick reprimand, a clip round the ear, lines or a detention. ie it was not taken all that seriously.
Nowadays however, two boys fighting is treated with the seriousness of a major diplomatic incident. Parents are involved, the boys could possibly be excluded for a few days and there will be much hand wringing about violence and bullying. Everyone will be taken to hospital for a CAT scan and counseling will be offered. Questionnaires can be filled in to demonstrate that everyone was being bullied by someone else and if anyone involved is not white then we can all get excited about racism too.
Now let's look at another crime. If, in the dim and distant past when I was at school, you were foolish enough to answer back to a teacher then you would be slippered or caned. (or just summoned to the equipment room and given a swift punch in the guts.) If you had been foolish enough to swear directly at a teacher (which I can't actually remember happening), then you would undoubtedly have been hung from the school gates as an example to others, possibly after being disembowelled by the Head of PE with a javelin.
Nowadays, if you want to answer back to a teacher or shout at them, go right ahead. Nothing much will happen. Even if you swear at one, it will often be ignored. Feel free, children; to push and shove them as much as you like. As long as you pretend that it was an accident, it will usually be brushed under the table. Failing that, just claim that the teacher pushed you first and they will back down. In the unlikely event that this still doesn't work, bring in one of the gormless adults sitting in front of the TV at home to claim that "you never tell lies, no not never" preferably accompanied by the 'No win- No fee' solicitor from their last pavement tripping claim.
The conclusions I draw from all this are:
1) Boys are no longer allowed to do 'boy like things'
2) Although there is much twaddle spoken about needing to improve pupils self esteem (which is generally far too high already) it's often the teachers who have lost their self confidence.
If spotted by a teacher the general punishment varied from a quick reprimand, a clip round the ear, lines or a detention. ie it was not taken all that seriously.
Nowadays however, two boys fighting is treated with the seriousness of a major diplomatic incident. Parents are involved, the boys could possibly be excluded for a few days and there will be much hand wringing about violence and bullying. Everyone will be taken to hospital for a CAT scan and counseling will be offered. Questionnaires can be filled in to demonstrate that everyone was being bullied by someone else and if anyone involved is not white then we can all get excited about racism too.
Now let's look at another crime. If, in the dim and distant past when I was at school, you were foolish enough to answer back to a teacher then you would be slippered or caned. (or just summoned to the equipment room and given a swift punch in the guts.) If you had been foolish enough to swear directly at a teacher (which I can't actually remember happening), then you would undoubtedly have been hung from the school gates as an example to others, possibly after being disembowelled by the Head of PE with a javelin.
Nowadays, if you want to answer back to a teacher or shout at them, go right ahead. Nothing much will happen. Even if you swear at one, it will often be ignored. Feel free, children; to push and shove them as much as you like. As long as you pretend that it was an accident, it will usually be brushed under the table. Failing that, just claim that the teacher pushed you first and they will back down. In the unlikely event that this still doesn't work, bring in one of the gormless adults sitting in front of the TV at home to claim that "you never tell lies, no not never" preferably accompanied by the 'No win- No fee' solicitor from their last pavement tripping claim.
The conclusions I draw from all this are:
1) Boys are no longer allowed to do 'boy like things'
2) Although there is much twaddle spoken about needing to improve pupils self esteem (which is generally far too high already) it's often the teachers who have lost their self confidence.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Why?
Something that I have always wondered since I started teaching, and have never heard a convincing answer to, is the question:
"Why do kids automatically move up to the next class each year?"
ie. Why does Shane leave Primary School when he cannot read three words of English? Primary Schools are full of people who can teach kids to read, Secondary Schools are not. There is absolutely no point in him moving up until he has been taught to read, write and do simple sums.
Most of the kids who came to us at the age of 11 unable to read, left at 16 (or earlier in many cases because they simply couldn't understand what was going on in the lessons) still unable to read after 12 years of full time education. If that's not a massive failure of the Education System, then I don't know what is.
All the answers I ever heard involved 'self esteem', 'peer group continuity' 'human rights' or some other rubbish. If anybody has a sensible answer, please let me know.
"Why do kids automatically move up to the next class each year?"
ie. Why does Shane leave Primary School when he cannot read three words of English? Primary Schools are full of people who can teach kids to read, Secondary Schools are not. There is absolutely no point in him moving up until he has been taught to read, write and do simple sums.
Most of the kids who came to us at the age of 11 unable to read, left at 16 (or earlier in many cases because they simply couldn't understand what was going on in the lessons) still unable to read after 12 years of full time education. If that's not a massive failure of the Education System, then I don't know what is.
All the answers I ever heard involved 'self esteem', 'peer group continuity' 'human rights' or some other rubbish. If anybody has a sensible answer, please let me know.
Friday, January 05, 2007
The Gilbert Review
Although it sounds like a cartoon, this is actually a report which the Government commissioned and Alan Johnson will be listening to:
Its central recommendation is 'Personalised Learning' which we looked at in the last posts. Here are the others, with my own flippant comments.
1) All schools should set out how they are making personalised learning a reality. Personalised Learning doesn't sound very realistic in a class of 30 to me.
2) Feedback from pupils should be used to design lessons. Can you imagine this? "Today we shall be using the medium of football to teach quadratic equations..."
3) Parents should get more information, such as lesson plans on the internet. Why?
4) Teacher training should be revised, outstanding teachers might have sabbaticals to enhance their skills. Teacher Training should most certainly be revised and they should stop taking the hopeless cases. I like the sound of sabbaticals too (like in Australia) but do you get paid whilst you're away? (In which case would anyone come back?)
5) A group should be set up to distinguish effective innovation in teaching from "fads and fashions" Presumably to make sure that only the fads and fashions are adopted.
6) Pupils not progressing as expected should be entitled to extra support, such as one-to-one tuition, in or out of school. Sounds great and I shall be only too pleased to provide this at £35 per hour.
How much did they pay for this report?
Its central recommendation is 'Personalised Learning' which we looked at in the last posts. Here are the others, with my own flippant comments.
1) All schools should set out how they are making personalised learning a reality. Personalised Learning doesn't sound very realistic in a class of 30 to me.
2) Feedback from pupils should be used to design lessons. Can you imagine this? "Today we shall be using the medium of football to teach quadratic equations..."
3) Parents should get more information, such as lesson plans on the internet. Why?
4) Teacher training should be revised, outstanding teachers might have sabbaticals to enhance their skills. Teacher Training should most certainly be revised and they should stop taking the hopeless cases. I like the sound of sabbaticals too (like in Australia) but do you get paid whilst you're away? (In which case would anyone come back?)
5) A group should be set up to distinguish effective innovation in teaching from "fads and fashions" Presumably to make sure that only the fads and fashions are adopted.
6) Pupils not progressing as expected should be entitled to extra support, such as one-to-one tuition, in or out of school. Sounds great and I shall be only too pleased to provide this at £35 per hour.
How much did they pay for this report?
More Personalised Whatsit
In case you still don't understand what this all important 'Personalised Learning' means, here is the official definition:
"Put simply, personalised learning and teaching means taking a highly structured and responsive approach to each child's and young person's learning, in order that all are able to progress achieve and participate."
There, hopefully it is all clear now.
"Put simply, personalised learning and teaching means taking a highly structured and responsive approach to each child's and young person's learning, in order that all are able to progress achieve and participate."
There, hopefully it is all clear now.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Personalised Learning
I've just had a good telling off by Mrs. C for rolling around on the floor hooting with laughter and frightening Humphrey the dog whilst watching the Six O' Clock News item on this topic. It featured a guitar strumming wannabe boyband member explaining how he learns best when things are put in a musical context...
I'm still daft enough to believe that Education has something to do with preparing kids for life in the Real World. Do any of these idiots seriously imagine that when Tarquin goes to work at Sproggins and Son Components, they are going to listen to his request to have the 'Training Manual for New Employees' shouted in Rap Lyrics? Or perhaps he would prefer to learn it via a kinesthetic method, with the Board of Directors presenting the Guidelines in a Dance format?
No, funnily enough he will be told to read the manual just like everybody else.
I am going to write to my bank manager tomorrow, informing him that I have decided that I too prefer to absorb information when it is presented to me in a musical context. Bearing this in mind; next time my Business Account is overdrawn, could he arrange for a trained operatic vocalist to inform me by way of Medieval chanting, accompanied by an orchestra of Lute Players?
I'm still daft enough to believe that Education has something to do with preparing kids for life in the Real World. Do any of these idiots seriously imagine that when Tarquin goes to work at Sproggins and Son Components, they are going to listen to his request to have the 'Training Manual for New Employees' shouted in Rap Lyrics? Or perhaps he would prefer to learn it via a kinesthetic method, with the Board of Directors presenting the Guidelines in a Dance format?
No, funnily enough he will be told to read the manual just like everybody else.
I am going to write to my bank manager tomorrow, informing him that I have decided that I too prefer to absorb information when it is presented to me in a musical context. Bearing this in mind; next time my Business Account is overdrawn, could he arrange for a trained operatic vocalist to inform me by way of Medieval chanting, accompanied by an orchestra of Lute Players?
Educational Experts
Thanks to David for this one:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/6230181.stm
If I was a Professor of say Nuclear Physics or Analytical Chemistry; conducting ground breaking research into extremely difficult subjects which require a huge brain to understand, I would be a bit hacked off to discover that you can be a Professor of Inclusion.
Professor Sheila Riddell must presumably be an expert in preventing schools from chucking out Wayne, Dwayne and Chavney after they have commited every crime known to Man and made the teachers' lives a misery for years on end.
I can imagine it must be pretty highbrow stuff...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/6230181.stm
If I was a Professor of say Nuclear Physics or Analytical Chemistry; conducting ground breaking research into extremely difficult subjects which require a huge brain to understand, I would be a bit hacked off to discover that you can be a Professor of Inclusion.
Professor Sheila Riddell must presumably be an expert in preventing schools from chucking out Wayne, Dwayne and Chavney after they have commited every crime known to Man and made the teachers' lives a misery for years on end.
I can imagine it must be pretty highbrow stuff...
Selection
http://today.reuters.co.uk/news/articlenews.aspx?type=UKNews1&storyID=2007-01-03T034508Z_01_L02499501_RTRUKOC_0_UK-BRITAIN-EDUCATION.xml&WTmodLoc=HP-C1-TopStories-6
Ignoring the fact that 76% of the UK population probably believe in fairies, I'm completely in favour of schools selecting children by academic ability. I went to a Comprehensive and sat between Ashley and Einstein. Einstein got a 'C' when he could have got an 'A' in a better school and Ashley was made to read French when he could barely read English. If there had been someone to teach him car mechanics, building skills or plumbing, then maybe he wouldn't have dropped out to sniff glue.
If we look at both ends of the spectrum, we see that the Comprehensive System cannot cope.
In 1970 a bright but poor kid could pass the 11+ and had a higher chance than they do nowadays of achieving the Holy Grail of Learning- a place at Oxford or Cambridge University. In fact both institutions recently admitted that virtually all their State intake is now from just 165 schools (mainly Grammars) that can teach to the standard required.
At the other end of the scale, the completely non academic pupil is bored senseless by five years of stuff that is totally incomprehensible to them and which they will never, ever need. Funnily enough, they constantly misbehave and we breathe a sigh of relief when they leave at sixteen, unable to read, write or do simple sums.
So we ruin the chances of both the top and bottom of the academic ability range, even though they take up most of our time; to the detriment of those in the middle who just keep quiet and struggle on.
There are four types of teacher.
1) The very academic who could teach ‘A’ Level (and the old ‘S’ Level) without any difficulty.
2) The less academic who are very good with the naughty kids.
3) Those who can do (1) and (2) (rare, valuable but unrewarded)
4) Those who can do neither and should be sacked.(2% my estimate)
Just as we can hardly expect to find many of (2) or (4) teaching at Eton, neither can we expect to find many of (1) at your Inner City Hellhole Comprehensive, which is a bit of a blow if you happen to be the poor but exceptionally bright kid who needs them most.
We should admit that the present system has been a disaster and go back to selecting kids at 11 by academic ability. Use an exam or trust what their teachers think. That way every child could get the education that is best for them, rather than the 'one size fits all' mess that we have now.
No wonder everyone who can afford it (along with many who probably can't) pays for their kids to go to Private School.
Ignoring the fact that 76% of the UK population probably believe in fairies, I'm completely in favour of schools selecting children by academic ability. I went to a Comprehensive and sat between Ashley and Einstein. Einstein got a 'C' when he could have got an 'A' in a better school and Ashley was made to read French when he could barely read English. If there had been someone to teach him car mechanics, building skills or plumbing, then maybe he wouldn't have dropped out to sniff glue.
If we look at both ends of the spectrum, we see that the Comprehensive System cannot cope.
In 1970 a bright but poor kid could pass the 11+ and had a higher chance than they do nowadays of achieving the Holy Grail of Learning- a place at Oxford or Cambridge University. In fact both institutions recently admitted that virtually all their State intake is now from just 165 schools (mainly Grammars) that can teach to the standard required.
At the other end of the scale, the completely non academic pupil is bored senseless by five years of stuff that is totally incomprehensible to them and which they will never, ever need. Funnily enough, they constantly misbehave and we breathe a sigh of relief when they leave at sixteen, unable to read, write or do simple sums.
So we ruin the chances of both the top and bottom of the academic ability range, even though they take up most of our time; to the detriment of those in the middle who just keep quiet and struggle on.
There are four types of teacher.
1) The very academic who could teach ‘A’ Level (and the old ‘S’ Level) without any difficulty.
2) The less academic who are very good with the naughty kids.
3) Those who can do (1) and (2) (rare, valuable but unrewarded)
4) Those who can do neither and should be sacked.(2% my estimate)
Just as we can hardly expect to find many of (2) or (4) teaching at Eton, neither can we expect to find many of (1) at your Inner City Hellhole Comprehensive, which is a bit of a blow if you happen to be the poor but exceptionally bright kid who needs them most.
We should admit that the present system has been a disaster and go back to selecting kids at 11 by academic ability. Use an exam or trust what their teachers think. That way every child could get the education that is best for them, rather than the 'one size fits all' mess that we have now.
No wonder everyone who can afford it (along with many who probably can't) pays for their kids to go to Private School.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Happy New Year
A happy New Year to all readers, but not to this brat:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/6226223.stm
ps If anyone went skiing in Colorado or the Canadian Rockies over Xmas, please do not write in and tell me how good the conditions were.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/6226223.stm
ps If anyone went skiing in Colorado or the Canadian Rockies over Xmas, please do not write in and tell me how good the conditions were.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Sleighbells in the warm grass...
A Merry Christmas to you all. I'm off skiing until the 30th. (Although given the current state of the Alps we might well be fishing, playing tennis or walking through flower covered meadows)
Anyway, best wishes for the New Year too and may 2007 bring you all lots of laughs and good times.
Rest assured that I shall, on principle boycott any Snowman (whoops, Snowperson) building competition on the grounds that all the entrants are white.
Anyway, best wishes for the New Year too and may 2007 bring you all lots of laughs and good times.
Rest assured that I shall, on principle boycott any Snowman (whoops, Snowperson) building competition on the grounds that all the entrants are white.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
My new hero
From our South Korean correspondant:
http://times.hankooki.com/lpage/nation/200612/kt2006122020202011990.htm
And the hand wringers think I'm harsh on the kids...
http://times.hankooki.com/lpage/nation/200612/kt2006122020202011990.htm
And the hand wringers think I'm harsh on the kids...
Monday, December 18, 2006
My new vocation
I definitely (sorry Lilly) fancy turning to a life of crime, especially if I can end up in front of Judge Chalk (No relation) who was referred to a couple of posts back.
Here, in his wisdom, he has given a lady who stole £5000 a fine of £500, some Community Service (which nobody ever does) and a suspended sentence. Who says crime doesn't pay?
Here, in his wisdom, he has given a lady who stole £5000 a fine of £500, some Community Service (which nobody ever does) and a suspended sentence. Who says crime doesn't pay?
'avin a fag.
I hate smoking but I rolled around laughing at the sheer cheek of this daft bat
Her comment of "I am not encouraging children to smoke" is sheer brilliance and I would immediately promote her to a School Management position.
Her comment of "I am not encouraging children to smoke" is sheer brilliance and I would immediately promote her to a School Management position.
This should teach them a lesson
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/6188241.stm
Chief Inspector Wringer is known for his vocal support of controversial hardline policies such as making violent prisoners serve the first week of their sentence without full access to the internet and occasionally only providing second class stamps for them to write home with. In 2004 he was once again at the centre of a dispute when he refused to donate a Harrods Christmas hamper to everyone on a life sentence.
"Marks and Spencers 'Finest' range are quite good enough for them" He is reported to have said.
He spoke to Chalk News today:
"These tough new Christmas Card policies won't go down well with everybody, but we believe that murderers, drug barons and thieves love their fellow man just as much as you and I; well maybe not the murderers... but the others certainly do."
He declined to comment on allegations that some detainees in his station's holding cells had been forced to go without Hungarian goose down pillows.
Chief Inspector Wringer is known for his vocal support of controversial hardline policies such as making violent prisoners serve the first week of their sentence without full access to the internet and occasionally only providing second class stamps for them to write home with. In 2004 he was once again at the centre of a dispute when he refused to donate a Harrods Christmas hamper to everyone on a life sentence.
"Marks and Spencers 'Finest' range are quite good enough for them" He is reported to have said.
He spoke to Chalk News today:
"These tough new Christmas Card policies won't go down well with everybody, but we believe that murderers, drug barons and thieves love their fellow man just as much as you and I; well maybe not the murderers... but the others certainly do."
He declined to comment on allegations that some detainees in his station's holding cells had been forced to go without Hungarian goose down pillows.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
I'd have hung him....
Gerald Chalk is no relation to me I can assure you. It's good to see that strong judges like this one send a clear message to the young offender. In fact pretty much the same one we give them in school:
"Do that again Sonny and nothing much will happen to you"
That should teach him a lesson.
"Do that again Sonny and nothing much will happen to you"
That should teach him a lesson.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Nutcase kids... They're everywhere.
Thanks to our correspondent in Sydney for this
It's good to see that our Antipodean colleagues have as many problems as we do. I can only hope that he enjoys his 'multicultural sensitivities' course as much as I did.
It's good to see that our Antipodean colleagues have as many problems as we do. I can only hope that he enjoys his 'multicultural sensitivities' course as much as I did.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
No More Games...
Have just opened the door for 12 Dec and found...
A Walking Stick!
That's it. This calendar is even more bizarre than that Japanese one we got a few years back. I'm declaring Mossy the winner and bah humbug to Christmas.
A Walking Stick!
That's it. This calendar is even more bizarre than that Japanese one we got a few years back. I'm declaring Mossy the winner and bah humbug to Christmas.
Hoorah for The GTCE
I've finally received a reply from the GTCE. Here's my initial email:
Hi, my name is Frank Chalk and I do a Teaching blog at http://frankchalk.blogspot.com.
I've recently submitted a petition to No. 10 in order to try and improve standards of discipline in schools. I taught for ten years so I saw exactly how bad things have become and now I'm trying to do something about it. Could you publicise this petition on your website please? (I tried sending this to 'General Enquiries' but no luck)
Many thanks
Frank Chalk
frankchalk@hotmail.co.uk
And the reply:
Dear Mr Chalk
I have made further enquiries concerning your petition and your request to place it on the GTC website.
We would not be able to promote your petition without first seeking the views of our Council. I am happy to draw it to their attention if you wish me to, but it is only fair to say that there are limitations on the ability of the GTC to support external campaigns.
This is not to deny the seriousness of the issue, but the GTC’s remit is to offer advice to the Secretary of State based on evidence, both from formal research and from the experience of practising teachers.
For example, pupil behaviour was third highest in the list of problems identified by teachers responding to our 2005 survey, representing 16 per cent of respondents. As you will be aware, it is also high on the list of concerns for newly qualified teachers. In response to this feedback, our Engage network, which is an online community for newly qualified and early career teachers, is working on the issue of behaviour for learning. Some of our Research of the Month features have tackled the issue too. Both Engage and Research of the Month can be accessed through our web site:
http://www.gtce.org.uk
Regards
David Brooks Web Editor
If you feel in any way dissatisfied by the attitude of the GTCE, then do not hesitate to email them at david.brooks@gtce.org.uk
Oh and don't forget to pay your subscriptions on time. They are working hard for you.
Hi, my name is Frank Chalk and I do a Teaching blog at http://frankchalk.blogspot.com.
I've recently submitted a petition to No. 10 in order to try and improve standards of discipline in schools. I taught for ten years so I saw exactly how bad things have become and now I'm trying to do something about it. Could you publicise this petition on your website please? (I tried sending this to 'General Enquiries' but no luck)
Many thanks
Frank Chalk
frankchalk@hotmail.co.uk
And the reply:
Dear Mr Chalk
I have made further enquiries concerning your petition and your request to place it on the GTC website.
We would not be able to promote your petition without first seeking the views of our Council. I am happy to draw it to their attention if you wish me to, but it is only fair to say that there are limitations on the ability of the GTC to support external campaigns.
This is not to deny the seriousness of the issue, but the GTC’s remit is to offer advice to the Secretary of State based on evidence, both from formal research and from the experience of practising teachers.
For example, pupil behaviour was third highest in the list of problems identified by teachers responding to our 2005 survey, representing 16 per cent of respondents. As you will be aware, it is also high on the list of concerns for newly qualified teachers. In response to this feedback, our Engage network, which is an online community for newly qualified and early career teachers, is working on the issue of behaviour for learning. Some of our Research of the Month features have tackled the issue too. Both Engage and Research of the Month can be accessed through our web site:
http://www.gtce.org.uk
Regards
David Brooks Web Editor
If you feel in any way dissatisfied by the attitude of the GTCE, then do not hesitate to email them at david.brooks@gtce.org.uk
Oh and don't forget to pay your subscriptions on time. They are working hard for you.
Monday, December 11, 2006
A Christmas Message from St. Thickchilds
Dear Parent/Guardian/Window licking Inbred,
Just to remind you that this year we break up on Friday 15th December for the Christmas holiday. After this time we have no desire to see or hear from your charmless offspring until Tuesday January 2nd. The caretaker has asked me to remind you that your foul mouthed child should be kept away from the school grounds during this time. (He would like to know why this is so difficult when you seem to be able to manage it perfectly well during the term)
Before my telephone starts ringing to herald an earful of your witless prattle, I am well aware that the 15th is quite early to begin celebrating Christmas, but since you have had your awful glowing Santas up since mid October, you have no cause to complain. Frankly we are all heartily sick of your child demanding to be entertained with traditional Christmas activities (Mindless scribbling whilst watching violent DVDs) in lessons, rather than attempting what they laughingly refer to as ‘work.’
Many thanks to those of you who attended the Carol Concert last week. If any reader should know the current whereabouts of the computer and printer which disappeared from my office on that same night, perhaps you would be good enough to inform me. If the parent who decided to spraypaint ‘Mr. Morris is a qweer’ on the wall would like to get in touch, we do have a few school dictionaries left.
The Prize draw in last months ‘Quarterwit’ (a lever to open a car lock, should you have ‘lost’ the key) was won by Ryan, formerly of Year 11; now unfortunately behind bars. We will therefore hold the draw again next month.
Congratulations to Tamsin Sprouthead who has successfully completed her first term at Downtown University, where she is pursuing a Degree in Celebrity Studies. We also offer commiserations to Chavney whose Lottery winning parents bought her a swimming pool to celebrate her GCSE success (in Drama) only to have it filled in by the Council due to an unfortunate lack of planning permission.
Finally, let us not forget as you go about your alcohol fuelled mayhem; that Christmas is a time for giving as well as receiving. By this I do not mean that you should give a mouthful of foul abuse to the telephone receptionist when you receive your benefit cheque a day late; but rather… oh never mind.
Yours Faithfully
Mr Morris
Headteacher
Just to remind you that this year we break up on Friday 15th December for the Christmas holiday. After this time we have no desire to see or hear from your charmless offspring until Tuesday January 2nd. The caretaker has asked me to remind you that your foul mouthed child should be kept away from the school grounds during this time. (He would like to know why this is so difficult when you seem to be able to manage it perfectly well during the term)
Before my telephone starts ringing to herald an earful of your witless prattle, I am well aware that the 15th is quite early to begin celebrating Christmas, but since you have had your awful glowing Santas up since mid October, you have no cause to complain. Frankly we are all heartily sick of your child demanding to be entertained with traditional Christmas activities (Mindless scribbling whilst watching violent DVDs) in lessons, rather than attempting what they laughingly refer to as ‘work.’
Many thanks to those of you who attended the Carol Concert last week. If any reader should know the current whereabouts of the computer and printer which disappeared from my office on that same night, perhaps you would be good enough to inform me. If the parent who decided to spraypaint ‘Mr. Morris is a qweer’ on the wall would like to get in touch, we do have a few school dictionaries left.
The Prize draw in last months ‘Quarterwit’ (a lever to open a car lock, should you have ‘lost’ the key) was won by Ryan, formerly of Year 11; now unfortunately behind bars. We will therefore hold the draw again next month.
Congratulations to Tamsin Sprouthead who has successfully completed her first term at Downtown University, where she is pursuing a Degree in Celebrity Studies. We also offer commiserations to Chavney whose Lottery winning parents bought her a swimming pool to celebrate her GCSE success (in Drama) only to have it filled in by the Council due to an unfortunate lack of planning permission.
Finally, let us not forget as you go about your alcohol fuelled mayhem; that Christmas is a time for giving as well as receiving. By this I do not mean that you should give a mouthful of foul abuse to the telephone receptionist when you receive your benefit cheque a day late; but rather… oh never mind.
Yours Faithfully
Mr Morris
Headteacher
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Dec 9th
And what do we have behind the door?...
A Christmas Tree!
Mossy from Wakefield now has three points.
Thanks to Mr Hood http://mrhood.co.uk/tite/?p=33 for mentioning our petition on his blog.
I've emailed the TES editor to ask if they will help. Still waiting for the GTCE to make up their mind. (How did we ever manage without them?)
A Christmas Tree!
Mossy from Wakefield now has three points.
Thanks to Mr Hood http://mrhood.co.uk/tite/?p=33 for mentioning our petition on his blog.
I've emailed the TES editor to ask if they will help. Still waiting for the GTCE to make up their mind. (How did we ever manage without them?)
Friday, December 08, 2006
Dec 8th
I opened today's door and saw...
2 Christmas stockings, so no winners I'm afraid. Mossy keeps his lead.
We're now up to 200 signings on the petition. Hurrah! Keep spreading the word.
I'm thinking of running for Parliament on a 'Hang a Hoodie' manifesto.
2 Christmas stockings, so no winners I'm afraid. Mossy keeps his lead.
We're now up to 200 signings on the petition. Hurrah! Keep spreading the word.
I'm thinking of running for Parliament on a 'Hang a Hoodie' manifesto.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Dec 7th Result
Dec 7th Result: 3 Candles!
'Mossy from Wakefield' moves into the lead with a total of two points.
The GTCE are still trying to decide whether to help the petition or not.
Thanks to PC. Bloggs for the petition link on her blog
Sorry I've not been doing more engaging posts for a while but I have been rather busy.
'Mossy from Wakefield' moves into the lead with a total of two points.
The GTCE are still trying to decide whether to help the petition or not.
Thanks to PC. Bloggs for the petition link on her blog
Sorry I've not been doing more engaging posts for a while but I have been rather busy.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Dec 6th
Rate My Teachers http://www.ratemyteachers.co.uk/ have emailed me to say that they have put up a link to the petition, a discussion on their forum and wish us the very best of luck. The GTCE have emailed me back to say that they are considering what to do.
Today's result: two carrots (pesumably for the reindeer). A tricky one so no winners today.
172 signatures
Today's result: two carrots (pesumably for the reindeer). A tricky one so no winners today.
172 signatures
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Dec 5th Result
Dec 5th Result: a fairy on top of a tree.
Mossy from Wakefield, you are a winner!
Still no reply from GTCE re. petition, but thanks to the 158 of you that have signed so far.
Mossy from Wakefield, you are a winner!
Still no reply from GTCE re. petition, but thanks to the 158 of you that have signed so far.
Dec 5th
Received an email back from the GTCE and guess what they said?
"We are not able to respond to you on any specific queries sent to this inbox"
Well silly me, sending it to 'General Enquiries'
Will try again using another one. Maybe the 'Late Subscriptions Payment' address might get more notice.
The GTCE: "Serving Teachers"
"We are not able to respond to you on any specific queries sent to this inbox"
Well silly me, sending it to 'General Enquiries'
Will try again using another one. Maybe the 'Late Subscriptions Payment' address might get more notice.
The GTCE: "Serving Teachers"
Monday, December 04, 2006
Dec 4th
A Christmas Pudding! Well done Ivy, one point to you.
Thanks to Lilyofthefield for suggesting we contact the GTCE about the petition. I've emailed them. (I was about to put up a post absolutely slating them but perhaps I'd better postpone it for now...)
Any more good ideas are of course, welcome.
Oh thanks to 'Anonymous' who sorted out a banner which can be pasted on to blogs. I'm so daft I deleted the message, thinking it was just an advert for another device to increase the size of my whatsit. (The blog is getting bombarded with these at the moment)
Here's the link.
http://www.davidforward.co.uk/index.php#fcp
126 signatures so far.
The following bloggers have put up a link to our petition:
Stan Still http://yornicked.blogspot.com/index.html
Thanks to Lilyofthefield for suggesting we contact the GTCE about the petition. I've emailed them. (I was about to put up a post absolutely slating them but perhaps I'd better postpone it for now...)
Any more good ideas are of course, welcome.
Oh thanks to 'Anonymous' who sorted out a banner which can be pasted on to blogs. I'm so daft I deleted the message, thinking it was just an advert for another device to increase the size of my whatsit. (The blog is getting bombarded with these at the moment)
Here's the link.
http://www.davidforward.co.uk/index.php#fcp
126 signatures so far.
The following bloggers have put up a link to our petition:
Stan Still http://yornicked.blogspot.com/index.html
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Spread the word...
I've now got a link to the petition on the right hand side of my page under the book adverts. Here's the code for it.
http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/frankchalk3/
Feel free to send it to anyone who does a blog, or webpage or has the ear of Tony Blair. Try the newspapers or the TES (not sure how much they like me though)
I've also emailed the Ratemyteachers site suggesting that they might improve their image by putting a link up. You never know, they might go for it. (Thanks for that suggestion, 'Whacko')
There's been some debate about the wording of the petition. To be honest, I don't really think it's that important. My aim is simply to draw attention to the scale of the discipline problems we face in State Schools (of which the Government is in denial and the public are largely unaware.) We can worry about the details later.
This isn't a staff meeting so let's not endlessly debate. Let's just get on with it and do what we can.
ps. A robin on the calendar today! One point to HPB.
http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/frankchalk3/
Feel free to send it to anyone who does a blog, or webpage or has the ear of Tony Blair. Try the newspapers or the TES (not sure how much they like me though)
I've also emailed the Ratemyteachers site suggesting that they might improve their image by putting a link up. You never know, they might go for it. (Thanks for that suggestion, 'Whacko')
There's been some debate about the wording of the petition. To be honest, I don't really think it's that important. My aim is simply to draw attention to the scale of the discipline problems we face in State Schools (of which the Government is in denial and the public are largely unaware.) We can worry about the details later.
This isn't a staff meeting so let's not endlessly debate. Let's just get on with it and do what we can.
ps. A robin on the calendar today! One point to HPB.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Dec 2nd Result
Dec 2nd Result: A Turkey (No winners)
The BBC reported today that shops up and down the Country were selling out of Advent calendars as shrewd shoppers attempted to track down Mr Chalk's. Till worker Debbie from Koshushko's Department store, Downtown spoke to our reporter after a hectic day:
"People were just buying the calendars, ripping them open and throwing them away when they saw what was behind the first door"
A plea to all readers: don't let the excitement go to your heads. Don't do anything irresponsible that you might regret in the future. Remember, it's only a game.
ps 62 signatures on our petition in the first 24 hours
The BBC reported today that shops up and down the Country were selling out of Advent calendars as shrewd shoppers attempted to track down Mr Chalk's. Till worker Debbie from Koshushko's Department store, Downtown spoke to our reporter after a hectic day:
"People were just buying the calendars, ripping them open and throwing them away when they saw what was behind the first door"
A plea to all readers: don't let the excitement go to your heads. Don't do anything irresponsible that you might regret in the future. Remember, it's only a game.
ps 62 signatures on our petition in the first 24 hours
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