Wednesday, November 28, 2007

And So Is This...

Poor old Gordon Brown is under fire again today after claiming that he saw no reason to doubt the authenticity of a £2 million pound donation from Sharon Watts, checkout girl at Tescos.

Mind you, anyone who thinks the GTC is a bit harsh should get a job in Sudan, where ex-pat teacher Gillian Gibbons was recently interviewed on Kartoum Radio:

Ahmed: "So Gillian, how are you enjoying life in our wonderful country?"

GG: "Well it's alright, very sunni and warm, but I do think that banning alcohol is a bit much. I mean, I'm not really a big drinker; but you know what it's like after a long week learning the Koran off by heart... It's hard work and you need a drink, especially in this heat. Come on Ahmed, you must have a few contacts who could help me get lashed?"

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Don't Worry, This Is A One-Off

I was going to tell you about the latest revelation from Downing St. that Alistair Darling sent the bank details of 25 million Brits to a Nigerian email scammer who said he 'needed them urgently for good helping with a PhD Project'

but unfortunately The Daily Mash beat me to it. Hats off to them, they're always spot on.

Apparently the abject failure of eleven hopeless overpaid dandies last night is going to cause a collapse in the economy.

I'm too busy with the new book to post regularly (and in any case, sales of Frank Chalk went up as soon as I stopped!)

Mrs Chalk's department decided recently that pupils should be given projects to do rather than dull, old fashioned learning type homeworks. The result of this is that every 14 year old child in her class can produce a messy pile of gloop that they call a model of a cell; made out of plastecine, jelly and God knows what, but cannot name a single one of its parts.

That's what I call progress...

David Cameron wants pupils to stand up when a teacher comes into the classroom. I'm all for this, in fact I'd have them kneeling down and touching their foreheads to the ground. I can't say that I ever had any problems getting kids to stand up; it was getting them to sit back down again and stop running round the room shouting "F*** Off!" that used to stump me. I notice he didn't have much to say on that score.

Oh, Thanks to Random House- they are publishing It's Your Time in Australia from Jan 1st. That should put a stop to any more Aussie teachers coming over. I've agreed to be interviewed by Kylie in mid Jan.

Look after yourselves (and don't get a job in Los Angeles)