Tuesday, February 27, 2007

My SMT Is Madder Than Yours...

This story arrived today courtesy of 'The Striker'.

"Have you heard the story about the school (The Billericay School, Essex) that has banned children from eating their lunch using tables a chairs?

Apparently, there is a problem with litter (i.e. food bits) in the playground that attracts pigeons etc. The schools way of dealing with this 'Health & Safety' issue is to stop the children who purchase lunch items from taking it out of the school hall/canteen area. However, this has caused a congestion problem within the hall (forward thinking obviously not one of the skills of the SMT). The solution to the this additional problem? The removal of tables & chairs from the hall, because this is now another 'Health & Safety' issue.

Call me old fashioned, but there must still be some children who use things called 'knife & fork' so I'm not sure how the school expects the children to eat their dinner while standing. Silly me, they can sit on the floor! Is the SMT of this school just stark raving bonkers, or is it just me? Someone from the SMT must have thought 'this would be a good idea' and what really gets me, is that no one had the guts to say, 'hold on a second, are we sure about this?"

I've no supporting evidence for this story (email me if you know anything about it) but it does sound daft enough that it could be true and provides us with a neat starting point for a new competition entitled:

'My SMT is Crazier Than Yours'

Entrants must submit an example of an SMT decision, proposal, climbdown, idea or policy which demonstrates complete and utter madness. Back it up with evidence if possible (ie witness or news link)

Closing date for entries is the 10th March. Judges decision is final.


Anonymous said...

Here is one 9 year SEN kid attacks elderly teacher. Tries to bite, kicks, head butt and scratch.
SMT punishment is to miss one swimming lesson!
His white trash mother didn't bringing him to school that day.

Anonymous said...

Insert : and bother as appropriate in the above.

Anonymous said...

One of my ex-schools tried a zero-tolerance approach to its spiralling-out-of-control discipline problem. All staff were brought on board (and I'm not mocking this; it was tried in good faith and with the agreement of all the staff) and sanctions applied by the book. By Thursday home time about a third of the schoolkids were excluded.

The local shopkeepers, residents, coppers all wanted the kids back behind bars, I mean back in school, and the LEA told the school not to be so bloody silly. It was kept out of the local paper by some very vigorous string-pulling.

Anonymous said...

At my school we wanted to buy a set of science textbooks to share between year 5 as we had none. SMT didn't like the idea as they thought we'd have the kids using them every lesson, while we argued that we needed something to reinforce their learning. Their solution: We were allowed to buy 6 - for two classes of 24.

Can't provide a witness as I want to keep my job.

Anonymous said...

Our last head had himself, a deputy, a senior teacher and 4 nodders and yessers as the SMT. That made 7 chiefs and left 8 injuns.
The senior teacher wasn't senior, three of the nodders and yessers were 2 poor A levels, must have a degree, oh a BEd is the only course I can get on types. The other was old school teacher certificate and as quiet as a mouse. The inexperienced deputy went on to his own school and promptly started bonking the secretary, much to his wife's and twins dismay. Two of the yessers and nodders have since had their areas of
responsibility removed from them by the new head.
The head who started all this took us from Beacon School to special measures in just 5 years and he has held two more headships since in two different authorities. Only in Education!
I'm retiring next year, Thank God.

Anonymous said...

Been in a few schools, with many bonkers, bizzare, and downright stramnge decisions. the top one has to be, though,

- No shouting at or near children. If you shout you have 'lost it', treat them with respect and they will to you.

Erm... pretty bonkers.

Whatever happened to children doing as they are told? Where did the mantra blame the teacher come from?

"Mrs Twaddle, I'm not doing that. It's too hard and you've not motivated or engaged me enough in my learning. "


"Yes. I'm an audio / kinasthetic learner. I like to touch things and listen to my own voice a lot. Cool eh! No? Well, how about I wander round the room hitting other children?"

"Now what should you be doing? I'm going to have to write your name down here on this paper. Don't make me..."

Disciple = paper tiger w/out SMT backup.

sorry. rant over.

Anonymous said...

Gonna stay anon for this one because my job might well suck but it's the only one I have.

"My" SMT decided, a few years ago, to refit the area of the school where all their offices were based. Nothing wrong with this as it was getting a bit tatty.

The problems were two-fold.
i) they used expensive oak panelling to refit their offices - in a cheap building which we're now tearing down as we plan to rebuild the whole school.

ii) at the time the offices were re-done, the builders were instructed to tear down and re-do these oak panels several times because the SMT decided that the walls were 'in the wrong place'. They were in the right place according to the plans, several of these wall moves were a matter of several inches, and to cap it all the final move was to put everything back to the original plan.

You couldn't make it up.

Anonymous said...

I vaguely remember hearing that schools were to get £250m, not each, but to share nicely, for improved school meals. I'd be interested to know why whenever I am anywhere near a secondary school here in Huddersfield I see wall to wall kids snacking on chips, crisps, cola etc. The resulting litter problem is appalling. Whilst I appreciate that a sizeable number of modern kids are not the sort I would ever have wanted to teach, but it does seem a bit rich to fleece me for money to feed the little beasts healthy dinners and for them to be let out at lunch time to persecute the local shopkeepers.

Anonymous said...

Now if you had a competition for LAZIEST SMT I could certainly nominate a few candidates...

Anonymous said...

the SMT at our college noticed that last scool year a number of fights were occuring in the last 15 minutes of lunch break.
So they shortened it by 15 minutes for this year.

Burleigh College, Loughborough, in case you were wondering...

Anonymous said...


i thought your story was interesting about your ex-school and their zero tolerance approach. Although it sounds daft to get rid of most of the kids, perhaps more schools should stick together and do the same. when the kids cause problems in society the issue should be left to go higher up until the government are forced to take tougher measures on kids and give schools more powers to discipline. After all what are schools for? to educate or to keep kids off the streets and protect society?

Anonymous said...

a bright idea of our SMT was to hold a year 11 parents evening before the exams to try and help improve exam results by involving parents. It may well have worked if they had held it before rather than after the exams.

Captain_Nathan_Brittles said...

Here`s one....... I and 50 others spent a whole `Bakerday` on :- come up with a work related lesson plan to put into action in our `Specialist school`( ....groan) - 12 months later said plans are still in the desk drawer & SMT `issues` have moved on - never ever pursued, 250 hours of work for someone else`s CV.