Thursday, January 27, 2011


I had to go to Liverpool last year to sort out a problem with my passport and it really is a complete dump. I've never seen a place with so many people hanging around doing nothing. The passport office employs not one but two security guards and you even have to pass through a metal detector. (Not that you are likely to have any metal on you by the time you arrive as every piece of roofing lead, copper wire or phone cable has been stolen long ago.)

They seem unaware that the Beatles are no longer Britain's leading pop group and have named the airport after John Lennon. Mass protests were taking place over the planned demolition of some uninhabitable slum that Ringo apparently lived in for a while when he was three.

All is not lost however- Liverpool Hope University (cynics would add a 'No' in that title) is offering a degree in the Fab Four. No doubt Goldman Sachs will be clamouring for graduates in this subject, so sign up quickly.


ColdWater said...

I went to Liverpool once.

It was the middle of the year Liverpool was the 'Capital of culture'.

There was either an awful lot of building work going on or they were taking the city apart bit by bit.

I could not decide which it was.

Anonymous said...

Oi! - Two Cathedrals . Three Theatres , Three Art Galleries , A major river , Docks and Ocean Liner Terminals , Two first class football teams - and modern stadia . A major airport (ok mis re-named , but still ) Motorway arteries , wonderful period architecture , Universities , a comprehensive urban rail transport system , ferries , canals , numerous first class restaurants - and hotels . Public Art , Spacious parks , graceful leafy suburbs , a citizenship renowned for its wit and good humour - pretty girls and a great deal of contemporary development . Then there is the iconic industry , Jaguar , Land Rover , shipbuilding , engineering , Camel Laird , Wolf & Harland . Beaches - open country side . Yes you clearly only went once .

Kimpatsu said...

Liverpool city centre is a dump, but try the suburbs and you will find a highly pleasant location with a good standard of living. (And don't forget Blue Coat School for education.)
And then again, Liverpool is home to the One True Religion: Liverpool FC. So there!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous @ 1606

What's having a major river, ports/docks and 2 "first class" football teams got to do with culture?? Yep, that's right - absolutely nothing...

Hill said...

How did Liverpudlians get such a reputation for being thieves?

You never hear anyone say 'thieving Brummie' or 'thieving Geordie' but 'Thieving Scouser' just sort of trips off the tongue...

Anonymous said...

"I've never seen a place with so many people hanging around doing nothing."
You've never been to Newport then. That has a passport office too. Oh no wait - it won't shortly and then there'll be even more peole hanging about with nothing to do.
They spent a fortune tarting it up for the (washout) Ryder Cup and then left everything half finished. What a dump.

Anonymous said...

I quote a friend of mine and former resident of scouseland "Mr Chalk"?- "so many people hanging around doing nothing"- has he never been to Lords ? As for Liverpool, spending a couple of hours in a strange town and then pontificating on the net in 'Daily Star'prose is hardly cutting edge investigative journalism and more what the catechism used to call calumny and detraction- what's the point of such comments? There are some elegantly Georgian parts of Liverpool which Mr chalk didn't trouble to visit and anyway, the point of Liverpool is its mixture of ugliness, grandeur and what no other City has, the natural wit of its people. Stay longer next time, Mr Chalk (I for one am glad the Passport Office is guarded- just the palce for a terrorist to cause mayhem.)
and why not a degree in Beatles history-the Fab Four bring millions to Liverpool in tourism, hence the row about Ringo's house and besides, have the massed ranks of economy departments helped us much over the past few years?

Anonymous said...

bit harsh!

some newspaper did an experiment where they left an unlocked bicycle in various UK cities. It lasted the longest in Liverpool, shortest in London.

Some friends from Birmingham were really impressed by how friendly and pleasant their weekend in Liverpool was, contrasting it to their home town.

Anonymous said...

I am amazed at your negative comments about Liverpool. Every place in the country has good and bad parts. Also, your reference to Liverpudlians being thieves is offensive.

If you did some research you would find that Liverpool is a popular tourist destination. The legacy of the Beatles brings in many tourists from Japan, the USA and Europe. People are also attracted by the fine architecture, museums and art galleries as well as the vibrant night life.

I can't see the point of why you chose to stereotype and alienate a large city in this way. Where are you from?

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