Here, for your amusement is the verbatim transcript of a telephone conversation which took place earlier today:
Bring, Bring! Bring, Bring!
Mrs Scuzzer (groggily):" Uh, 'ello?"
Mrs Chalk (brightly): "Good morning Mrs Scuzzer, I'm just phoning because your daughter Tequilla wasn't in school yesterday and we didn't receive any phone call from you. Is she ill?
Mrs Scuzzer (wide awake now): "No, it was her birthday!"
Mrs. Chalk (somewhat dumbfounded):"Er..well...erm..."