Monday, July 03, 2006

The Secret Brotherhood of The Unilluminati

Scholars have long suspected that a mysterious and ancient Brotherhood had its base on the site of St. Thickchilds, here in Downtown. It is known as the Unilluminati and has remained a secret for many centuries.

The group has only one aim:

'To prevent the spread of knowledge and wisdom.'

Members of the group take elaborate precautions to keep their identity hidden, including the wearing of hooded garments (hence the word 'Brotherhood_ a shortened form of 'Brother of the hood') and the use of a form of handwriting which is impossible to decipher.

One clue is in the symbology of their name. If 'Unilluminati' is misspelt and written upside down in poor handwriting, it is impossible to distinguish it from the original word.

The group has lain idle for many years but is now being called to arms once again, for reasons that I am currently investigating.

Little is know about the society's origins except that they claim to be descended from St. Dwayne, Patron Saint of Foolishness, who was executed in 134 AD after he refused to publicly accept the existence of the six times table. Later, followers of the group fled to Britain to escape the flourishing of wisdom known as The Renaissance, leaving signs of their passing all across Europe. These however, are only visible to the well trained eye. Under the cover of an exchange visit, I am discreetly carrying out my research.

It can be no coincidence that Downtown is twinned with the small French town of Dole. Sitting outside a cafe with a glass of the local spirit (known as Benefi) I can see the clues all around. Just across the street lies the headquarters of the 'Association Societe Boulangers Ordinaire' whose initials convey a clear message of welcome to all Brothers. It reminds me that I am deep within the enemy's lair and must take every precaution to avoid being discovered.

More revealations will follow shortly...

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Very good! Hope Dan Brown doesn't sue you...

karrde said...

So, if the research is happening "discretely", I assume that it is happening in discrete steps, rather than infinitesimal bumps of continuous discovery.

Of course, if it is being done in such a way as not to alarm those being investigated, that would be quite discreet.

J.J. said...

Like it! Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

existance ?
Sorry, but you did ask for spelling corrections.

Anonymous said...

Ah ha! 'Benefi' is a take on the popular after dinner spirit 'Genepi'

Mr. Chalk, you are subtle indeed...

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Kimpatsu said...

If 'Unilluminati' is misspelt and written upside down in poor handwriting...
Oh, so they're doctors, then...?