Sunday, October 19, 2008

WANTED: Nutters

For no obvious reason, this post received more comments than any other; so purely in the spirit of malicious fun, I shall use my digital Ouija board to try and summon up as many Moon Howlers, Window Lickers and Gum Popping nutcases as possible.

If you don't fall into any of the above categories, then there's no need to read any further; just skim through the comments for your own amusement. Here we go...

1) Only loonies believe that the Earth was made by a man with a big white beard 6000 years ago. Men with beards can't actually do anything, they can only host discussion groups and talk about Diversity. The Earth is actually around 4700 million years old.

2) The Earth is not flat, nor is it at the centre of the Universe. It revolves around the Sun, which appears to be a reasonably average star that orbits the centre of our galaxy about four times every billion years.

3) Evolution is a simple fact, accepted by all but the most backward inhabitant of Kansas. There are too many examples to describe here, so just look them up in any textbook. (Although probably not one published by Creation.org)


4) We are all animals. Moles, whales, single humped camels and humans are all descended from the same common ancestor.

5) We did go to the Moon and there aren't really any Yetis or UFO's.


Right, that should do the trick. Arise and come to me, fruit loops everywhere...

17 comments:

redGPz said...

You will repent when you are touched by His Noodly Appendage, trust me.
http://www.venganza.org/

Anonymous said...

Hope alanorei is reading this. I miss him.

Anonymous said...

You take that back now!

Carl said...

Potentially, it could have been someone with a beard that had been travelling around the universe for quite a while....

In that time, imagine how much random stuff he could've got trapped in his beard; he might've created life on Earth accidentally by scratching his chin thoughtfully...

Anonymous said...

He's getting closer. I can feel him...

Anonymous said...

You left out JFK was shot by Lee Harvey Oswald acting on his own.
Jobrag

Anonymous said...

Infidel!!!!!!!!!!! That's disrespecting XYZ looney cults & religious orders.
Probably someone'll be after you for that. Not me, though. Rest asured.

Anonymous said...

Would a slight ambiguity on the existence of Yetis count towards my GCSE in fruit cake beliefs? Perhaps a belief that a secretary of state of education actually be a better test for insanity.

extendedextemporaneousness said...

Last anonymous stole my point - yetis clearly exist! How else do you explain Brian Blessed?

John said...

Don't disagree with you on most points Chalk but evolution is not a fact. It is merely a long established scientific theory.

Unless you have some information that the world's leading scientists do not.............

Anonymous said...

Evolution is a fact in the same sense as Newton's laws of motion aren't (they are wrong...but you'll not get off your speeding ticket on those grounds). It is the best explanation for all of the evidence available (huge amount), it isn't contradicted by the evidence and the alternative theories are demonstrably wrong - so not a fact...but only in the sense that nothing is actually an undeniable fact.

Anonymous said...

I think nutters are a bit like cats, in that if you actually want them, they disappear.

Jane Smith said...

My 13-year-old son, currently in year 8, had a belter of a supply teacher at the end of the last academic year.

The supply teacher explained to the whole class how the people from the Lost City of Atlantis had encoded all sorts of wonderful information into crystals and that, even though we now lack the technology to decode that information, we can still use the resonance contained withint those crystals to heal all our ills.

The supply teacher also explained how she has written ten or twelve books on the subject, none of which have yet been published. As a professional writer, I have my own suspicions why that might be and, bless his heart, my son pointed out to her a couple of the reasons too.

I appreciate that it is interesting and important to engage the children in conversation as part of their lessons. I was not aware, however, that the Lost City of Atlantis and the practice of crystal healing formed part of the National Curriculum. I find it particularly disconcerting that this conversation took part during a science lesson, as some children might very well now assume that crystal healing has some sort of scientific basis.

The head teacher was as entertained as I was: that particular supply teacher won't be employed at the school again but she will be employed elsewhere. It's a dreadful story, but one I thought you'd enjoy.

(And I bought another copy of your book last week to give to a friend who has just been made head teacher of a "pupil referral unit" where the pupil:teacher ratio will be about 5:1. He's going to do well at the job, but meanwhile my sons, who are pretty well behaved and try quite hard to get on, are stuck in classes of 30:1. Which doesn't seem quite fair to me.

Anonymous said...

"How else do you explain Brian Blessed?"

He could only count as a yeti when he had the white beard for Branagh's Hamlet, in his normal hair colour he is clearly an anglo-sasquatch.

Anonymous said...

You wanted a nutter, I believe?

Here I am!

More of the traditional type, myself. Never thought of the big fella having a beard, though.

I have a wonderful edge on you athiest types, as anything I can't explain I can attribute to Himself.

You poor sods have to rely on blaming it all on chance. :)

Sackerson said...

The whole Creationist thing could have been invented by proselytizing atheists as a stick with which to beat Christians. It's certainly a marvellous distraction. The New Testament offers absolutely no evidence of any interest in dinosaurs, for obvious reasons; but even if the authors had known about velociraptors, they's have given them about as many column inches as their recipes for marmalade. I'm intersted to know why humanists are all het up about God, when the real threat to liberty these days is the resurgence of socialism, given immense extra power by information technology.

Anonymous said...

Creationism is always a good stick to bash Christians with. We are all Darwinists now eh?!

Except we are not are we.

For instance, accounting for racial group differences leads the average liberal into the furthest reaches of fairy-tale reality denial. This has profound implications for education policy, immigration, law enforcement and the like. Yet government policy regarding these issues is firmly rooted in a flat earth belief that evolution doesnt apply to humans.

A belief in creationism otoh doesnt actually stop someone functioning effectively in any number of disciplines (other than teaching evolution of course)

And here is where I will be accused of lunacy...

UFOs - of course they exist! There are far, far too many witnesses, pictures and footage of them to dismiss their existence.

What they are is another matter entirely, Ive certainly got no idea. Remember that U in UFO? Stands for unidentified.

Identifying UFOs, thats where the loonies pop up. Aliens, time travellers blah blah. Who knows? Not me.

I saw some very strange lights in the sky only a couple of years ago and dozens of other people witnessed them at the same time. They were not aircraft, Venus, Mars, fireworks, stars or meteorites. I was about to say some of the witnesses were rocket scientists but strictly speaking they were satellite engineers and scientists.