Thursday, October 09, 2008

Jamie Oliver

Imagine my shock when I turned on the telly the other night and these horrors leaped out at me. Jamie Oliver (who appears to be wearing a fat suit in order to blend in with the natives) has gone to Rotherham in order to teach them how to cook.

He was talking to some wretch who couldn't be bothered to learn how to cook for her 22 kids and preferred instead to sit in front of a colossal plasma screen TV bathed in the flickering blue light of ignorance whilst counting her Benefit Cheques. Why he didn't just pull out a gun and shoot her, I'll never know.

The man has the patience of a Saint. If I had half as much money as he does, I'd be swanning around on my yacht in the Med, surrounded by beautiful women, drinking cold beer and eating olives (me not them).

I've been to Rotherham once and can say that at least it is better than nearby Doncaster.

6 comments:

steveg said...

"I've been to Rotherham once and can say that at least it is better than nearby Doncaster."

Oh no it isn't - trust me on this.....

Steve (lives in yorkshire)

Anonymous said...

There are more wife-swappers to choose from in Doncaster. This inevitably increases your chances of getting a good looking one.

Yours as ever,
Cynical

P.S. I'm surprised you missed this misrepresentation of teaching: "The long holidays are presented not as a chance to relax, but as an opportunity for other activities - with the example given of setting up a property business." Like teaching will give you the time, energy or spare cash to start up a property business on the side...

Lilyofthefield said...

You have clearly never been to Barnsley.
"who couldn't be bothered to learn how to cook for her 22 kids and preferred instead to sit in front of a colossal plasma screen TV bathed in the flickering blue light of ignorance whilst counting her Benefit Cheques"
The lifestyle I aspire to.... [sighs]

Did you read Giles Coren in Saturday's Times? I don't know how he got away with it, although if political correctness has been binned at The Times, maybe there's hope for us yet. The Guardian might catch it.

inspectorgadget said...

Hopefully, the mums in Rotherham HAVE gone to Iceland.

Lilyofthefield said...

What, to get their fortunes out of the banks

Rob A said...

I once asked a chap who had recently moved from Doncaster to run a pub in our village what 'Donny' was like. He replied "It's alright if you like gypsies".