Thursday, May 17, 2007

Sorry, We Cannot Take Your Call Right Now...

Bring-Bring, Bring-Bring...

"Congratulations for correctly dialling the number for St. Thickchilds School! Your call is important to us, so please select from the following options:

If you are unsure about the specific nature of your complaint, but would just like to moan, press One

If you are phoning to let us know that all the teachers are picking on your child, press Two

If you wish to make a false allegation against a teacher; press Three, or contact 'Ambulance Chasers' on 0870 565 8484. We will not be able to tell you which solicitor is best for suing us.

If you have a ludicrous excuse for why your child has been absent, press Four. Please note that we are unable to suggest one for you.

If you would like to know why your child is not allowed on the school trip to Scagton, press Five

If you would like to request a School Permission Slip to allow your child to spit on pedestrians whilst travelling on the school bus, press Six.

If you would like to verbally abuse a specific teacher; press Seven, or simply race up to school and demand to see them immediately.

If your child is socially inept and would like to change forms yet again, press Eight

If it is a crucial time in your child's education and you would like to request two weeks off to go on holiday, press Nine

If you are a parent who appreciates the efforts we make to educate and discipline your child then hang up and do not try again later."


With due regards to the teachers from Pacific Palisades High School, California

3 comments:

horrorfan said...

Good post Mr. Chalk and so true. Although I'm only 27 I can still just remember a time before corpral punishment was abolished and we would never have dared talk back to our teachers the way these young kids do today. Also, I come from pobably the last generation whereby if you got in trouble at school, my parents wouldn't have challenged the teachers punishment; instead they would have given me an even worse hiding when I got home.

We've had over 20 years now to show us that this softly, softly psycho babble, caring, child centred approach to discipline doesn't work. Kids and young teens need putting back in their place and ruling with a rod of iron. Great site, really enjoy it.

Grannys.Myth.Peeler said...

If you would like to complain about your large angry, abusive & aggressive child being bullied press 999.

Tony and Gill said...

I like the post but it doesn't make the use of drawn out answering messages at schools any more acceptable. I'd just like to talk to somebody not listen to a great list of pre emptive suggestions