Friday, May 11, 2007

Hide Your Tape Now!

Here's something else you'd probably better not do today. I suspect the incident didn't actually resemble a Hollywood kidnapping, with screaming, threats and an entire roll of gaffa tape, but was probably a gentle and harmless bit of fun. It was nothing more than a light hearted way of trying to remind the children to sit quietly and listen. (Which is doubtless frowned upon nowadays anyway)

Needless to say the reaction is hysterical and you can already see one of the parents angling for the 'allergy' angle. No doubt 'trauma and distress' will soon follow, which can only be soothed by a large out of court settlement.

I have just come off the phone to my parents and we are preparing our own legal battle for justice over a similarly brutal event that has traumatised me since 1972. I knew education would make me rich somehow.


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Anonymous said...

God, this really gets me, far from reporting the teacher to the school, if I'd have been in trouble for talking in class, my parents would have given me a damn good hiding and told me never to be so rude in class again.

Talk about making mountains out of mole hills. In any case if those two young children were talking whilst the teacher was trying to teach, I firmly support her actions.


Mary said...

Oh dear. Someone who isn't a pupil has an allergy to a type of tape that isn't sellotape.

Not even my best devil's advocate head can work out how that is relevant.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha! It happened to me so many times! But I never dared say anything to my parents, they would have (really) punished me otherwise. Thanks for this story Frank Chalk!

Anonymous said...

I remember a really nasty bully from my form a number of years back who was gaffer taped to a chair then the chair taped to the flagpole outside. The deputy head an I saw what was happening and quickly moved our conversation into an office where we wouldn't be obliged to interrupt.

Twenty minutes later we emerged to see another (rather elderly) deputy head struggling valiantly in the pouring rain to free him.

Parental complaints ZERO. Press involvement ZERO. Soaking wet and pissed off deputy ONE.

lilyofthefield said...

Five's a bit young to be taping their mouths up. At 15, the pain of removing it from bumfluff and pimples or - shockhorror - spoiling one's MAKE-UP is far crueller :)