Monday, June 22, 2009

Titles

STOP PRESS:

I apologise for the interruption to your evening, but Fran from Oop North Somewhere has just informed me that from September, the Form Tutors at their school will be renamed 'Achievement Tutors'.

This leads us neatly round to Chalk's 9th Law of Teaching:

The grander the title given, the less able the person who gave it.

Your own examples are of course welcome.

16 comments:

Fran Hill said...

Hey, this is a good game! Can I be called a 'Literature Delivery Operative' or a 'Classic Text Educative Processes Manager'?

MarkUK said...

The rot set in when we started calling the kids "students" rather than "pupils".

I reckon we still need a PISOP* for both "students" and the people who come up with these stupid job titles.

PISOP = Physical Impact (Seat Of Pants) Manager.

Anonymous said...

In teacher training, the pupils are called "learners". Even if they don't ever learn a thing. I'm waiting for the cleaners to be called "floor hygienists", and the caretakers "excellence in maintennance managers".

cabalamat said...

Perhaps teachers could be renamed Holistic Client-Centered Knowledge Acquisition Facilitators.

Anonymous said...

WONDERFUL idea. but a wee bit discriminating...how would a dyslexia-enhanced holistic learner ever read that...

Boy on a bike said...

The phrase "Collaborative learning centres" makes me want to vomit.

Hogday said...

Clearly, we've taken a leaf out of the `Iranian School of Election Candidate Vote Categorisation Re-adjustment and Non-Losing`, where there is no overall winner, just tens of millions of people who also won, but to a lower category of winning.

Anonymous said...

Yes. As in "all animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than the others".....

Anonymous said...

Because I teach chemistry, would I be known as a 'Test Tube Babe'!

The TEFL Tradesman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The TEFL Tradesman said...

Look, I've been a "Classroom-based Skills and Knowledge Acquisition Facilitator" for several years now, and I'm bloody proud of it!

At least it stops the buggers here shouting out 'teacher' when they want my attention...

Lilyofthefield said...

Achievement Tutor ind. I think we all know who will be held responsible for the kids' achievement completely regardless of their contribution to it.

Anonymous said...

At my school, the heads of year are called "Directors of Learning"

inspectorgadget said...

Chief Constable

Geoffrey said...

Love it, Gadget

How about

"Prime Minister"
"Chancellor of the Exchequer"
"Foreign Secretary"

and last, but not least

"Home Secretary"

GACE test said...

Title is the term which describe the whole object.