Thursday, September 11, 2008

Cooking With Mr Chalk

I'm usually the first to slate any new initiative but giving out Free Cookbooks sounds like a good idea. Mind you after thinking about it for a few minutes the following points occurred to me:

1) You can eat as healthily as you like but if you get through six meals a day, never leave the sofa and think that 'exercise' only goes with 'book'; then you will still end up huge.

2) In the 21st century shouldn't it be a website rather than a book? Printing books involves cutting down lots of trees which could otherwise go into my wood burning stove.

3) We need to target the parents, especially the thick ones. After all, they are the ones stuffing their offspring with Fried Chicken Dinosaurs, Monster Munch crisps and luminous fizzy drinks

4) Can't we just muzzle the fat kids?


Urban School Teacher said...

Good points. The parents of kids who are already morbidly obese should be held to account as, in my opinion, risking the kids' health by filling them with unhealthy food on a regular basis is a form of abuse. I blame the thick and feckless parents for a lot.

The Tefl Tradesman said...

I also blame the thick and feckless politicians. If you give stupid people free money to sit at home and pig out on junk food, beer, and ciggies all day, they will do just that. And so will their children.

Why can't our dog-turd politicians see that eliminating material poverty has led to an increase in moral poverty? Is it that difficult to see - or just unpalatable to diagnose? Just like VD in Victorian times, I suppose...

Lilyofthefield said...

Good God! Are you insane? You are asking we the people and our elected leaders to make A JUDGMENTAL COMMENT on the voting public's life choices! Imposing your middle-class educated values on them, just like I was stopped from doing when I taught Y7 how to set a table, sit at it and eat with a knife and fork in Food Tech lessons.

Senile old bastard said...

Point 4 suggests that you cannot currently muzzle fat kids. I find this shocking. I was muzzled as a child and it never did me any harm.

phatboy said...

lilyofthefield, the reason that certain people are called educated is because they are... well educated.

The chances are that those with education are more likely to be right than those who are totally uneducated.

Thus, it seems both logical and right to force the views of the educated upon the uneducated.

Anonymous said...

*sigh* Yet another blogpost which posits "fat people" as the eternal scapegoat of the world.

I understand you may not find us fat people aesthetically pleasing, Mr Chalk, but if you wish to be taken seriously as a moral arbiter, couldn't you stick to moral issues? All of this "muzzle the fat kids" stuff is facile humour, but when the fat kids have done nothing wrong *other than be fat*, don't you think it's a mite unfair of you to encourage the point-and-laugh attitude?

Yes, the fat are more likely to die early. They know that. That's their choice. It may reflect damage done to them in their youth, it may not, but the important thing is that it neither affects nor hurts *you*. If you wish to help the fat lose weight, you might like to get to know a fatty and offer support during the stressful period of food/exercise adjustment. How does that sound? Wouldn't that be more helpful than this lordly judgementalism?

("They take up more room on the train/bus!" Yes they can do - and so do tall people. So do healthy but massively-proportioned rugby players. And so does that chav who insists on sticking his Doc Martened-feet up on the seat across from him.)

Ultimately you may insist on keeping "fat people" as your all-purpose comic relief, and if you do, again there is nothing I can do about it. But I would ask you just one question:

Which would you rather have in your class, a thin troublemaker or a well-behaved fatty?

Thanks for your time, and Happy Easter.