Terrible news today that nine out of ten nurses wouldn't even consider having an affair with one of their patients.
The prospect of a hospital stay terrifies me and I would never expect to get out of one alive. Uncleaned wards full of nasty medicine-resistant bugs. You can't drink and by all accounts the food is disgusting. The only thing that would stop me committing immediate hara-kiri would be the prospect of non-stop, Red Hot Nurse Action.
Now it appears that even this will be denied me. I shall quietly expire at home instead.