Tuesday, November 21, 2006

An Appeal

Today, Christians all over the World celebrate the feast of St. Dweezil, Patron Saint of Children with Silly Names.

I would like to take this opportunity to ask all new parents to pause with me for a couple of minutes at noon and spend the time in silent contemplation.

Then name your child Mike, Andy or Jane rather than Gandalf, Jabba or Mayday.

Many Thanks
Rev. Frank Chalk

20 comments:

Quantum Fig said...

I'm afraid that your appeal may fall of deaf ears Frank!

Kelueuee said...

Oh I'm not so sure about that.

Ole Phat Stu said...

here in germany, we are not allowed to call our children "Jeus", although "Mohammed" is acceptable. WTF?

Anyone called "Flying Spaghetti Monster" out there?

sparky said...

When we named our daughter earlier this year my manager congratulated me on being the first person he had known in years to give their child a normal name.

I don't know how some teachers keep a straight face in class.

Meg said...

I teach ESL in China, where a lot of students pick nouns and adjectives for their English names. Off the top of my head, I've had a Fish, Strengthen, Happy, Corn, Sun-Rain, Diamond, a boy called Simon who insisted it was pronounced Semen (I think a previous ESL teacher had some fun w/ him), and a boy called Ellen.

It makes taking attendance in a new class a great source of amusement.

lilyofthefield said...

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you..........Chlamydia. Not literally of course. It does have a kind of classical ring to it.

Anonymous said...

Omigod. Don't even mention chlamydia. I got a new kitten 5 weeks ago and he turned out to have feline chlamydia and gave it to my two older cats, both of whom were very ill, and I haven't yet dared ask the vet what the bill is. And yes, they do have pet insurance. Even with that it will be an arm and a leg.

PC Bloggs said...

Chalky have you seen the latest idea - sounds a bit like RateMyParents.com to me. http://pcbloggs.blogspot.com /2006/11/supernanny-goes-large.html

Tom Welsh said...

With the popularity of online handles these days (I'm the first person replying to this entry under my full name), maybe the names parents give their children could be deemed handles. When the child reaches years of discretion, it could pick a normal name like "Jane" or "Roger". In future, people would be named like the cats in "Cats" - everyone has a handle that is arbitrary, and often amusing or silly. Only close friends get to know your true name, which you choose yourself.

CaliforniaTeacherGuy said...

Amen, Rev., amen!

Mr. Smallcock said...

Cant wait til I teach a kid called Asbo. Probably be a boy or is that sexist. Maybe there will be a girl in the class called Slapper?

lilyofthefield said...

I fear that with the fondness the silly-name brigade have for stupid spellings, they will appear as Azbo and Slappa.

Anonymous said...

Even Queenie is at it now:

"The Queen and the Duke were joined by tribal spiritual leader Bruce "Two Dogs" Bozsum and other Mohegans wearing deerskin leggings and headdresses made with turkey and eagle feathers at the memorial ceremony at Southwark Cathedral on Wednesday."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6172062.stm

dearieme said...

Orlando. Orbloodylando.

James said...

Oh, and while they're at it they can try and wrap their heads around the idea that giving kids more than one middle name is the exclusive preserve of the upper-middle classes and should not be attempted if said offspring has to mix with normal kids. I've yet to forgive my parents for christening me James Geoffrey Raymond Jago, to the universal derision of everyone who ever found out for most of my adolesence!

And yes, a large number of them had names like Dwayne.

lilyofthefield said...

Orlando - I would like to give the benefit of the doubt and suggest that it sounds Shakespearian but it's probably where the sprog was conceived. I mean on the back seat of the cinema whil Pirates Of The Caribbean was playing.

Grace said...

I did know a guy who went by the name of Mr. Wayne Kerr.... once
I kid you not! Common sense would tell you with that surname the last thing you should be calling him is Wayne! lol
Thank god my parents are of the normal names brigade

Anonymous said...

This is not a new phenomenon - I remember over 40 years ago a sister and a brother from Worksop who were called, respectively, "Cherokee Flame" and "Cheyenne" Robinson...

Anonymous said...

The whole subject of giving children silly names is analysed in detail in Freakonomics by latest American pop economist Steven Levitt. See for example:

http://barefootmeg.multiply.com/journal/item/50

Anonymous said...

"Mr Wayne kerr..."

How about Mr Baiter? At an old English school where the pupils were called by their surname, prefaced by master?