Monday, January 11, 2010

Panic, panic, panic

URGENT!

Drop whatever you are doing, rush out and buy 5 loaves of bread immediately.

14 comments:

pjt said...

Perhaps those five loaves of bread give you just the extra energy that is needed for survival on the first crucial days after collapse of civilization in Britain, due to the sudden climate change that the Northern Hemisphere has experienced?

Once you've outlived the other people by a day or two, you can feast on their flesh and live longer. The meat is good to eat and does not rot as long as it is frozen. (You can feast, that is, unless you are vegetarian).

Meanwhile, back in Finland where I live, I'll leave office, disconnect my car from the engine block heater socket (powered by a nuclear plant), and head home via the supermarket. Outside, it has warmed up to a pleasant -10 ˚C; perhaps I'll do a 10 km xc ski round and heat up the sauna.

Chris said...

Bread goes stale far too quickly. If you're going to panic buy your carbs in bulk then stock up on dry pasta and/or rice.

Or is this a subtle "Feeding of the 5,000" gag I've missed?

Anonymous said...

I went out to panic buy wine. That seemed far more important.

Anonymous said...

Bought them from the reduced shelf at the supermarket 2 weeks ago and put them in the deep freeze.....it's only men who panic!

Anonymous said...

I thought this panic buying was just a rumour until I went to the supermarket today. They were almost out of bread, beans and milk! What has happened to us? A bit of snow and we fall apart

jadedoldie said...

Anonymous, how sensible you are, I panic bought Brandy, you have to get your priorities right!

donna o said...

I cannot get out to BUY bread---my doors are frozen shut! I KNEW this would happen one day. WHY didn't I listen???? :0)-5C here in NE PA USA but we should have a heat wave of -3 by the weekend. Then Al Gore will have something to write about...

Lilyofthefield said...

You have one international readership, Mr C!

Anonymous said...

Bred buying is stupid. Buy flour,yeast , fat, sugar, pulses, rice, pasta, tinned stuff like tomatoes etc....if the electricity goes, your bread won't keep freshinthe freezer. If you have flour and wter , you cn always use fireplace to make flatbread....or if you have yeast and it's warm enough, you cn make yeast bread. Don't forget things like honey (good on wounds, too) and plenty of fat, best is olive oil or grapeseed oil. Tinned beans, vinegar 9cider vinegar, lots of vitamins in that) .
If things REALLY run out, two loafes of bread won't really make a difference. 10kgs of rice and 5 kg of flour...5kg of pasta and heaps of tinned tomato or even tomato puree....

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the two fish. Me and my 4,999 hungry mates will be round when our supplies run out.

Anonymous said...

42 degrees in Australia.

Forget bread, water is top of the priority list.

After that fuel I guess. I've seen Mad Max, I know what's going to happen next...

Kaptain_Von said...

...or if you live on one of the estates near me, twelve 12 packs of assorted beer and cider "cos there's gonna be snow an' we won't be able to get out for our booze!"

This exact scenario was witnessed by myself in the local branch of ASDA.

donna o said...

What are pulses???? I am so American :0).

Urban School Teacher said...

They are morons and it *really* annoys me.