Monday, March 26, 2007

Oh Happy Day!

Today is clearly my lucky day as the following email arrived this morning:


Dear Partner,

I presumed that all is well with you and your family. Please let this do not be a surprise proposal to you because i got your contact information from the international directory in few weeks ago before i decided to contact you on this magintude and lucrative transaction for our future survival in life. Moreover, i have laid all the solemn trust in you before i decided to disclose this successful & confidential transaction to you. I AM MR.IBRU.KUMAR THE CHIEF AUDITOR INCHARGE OF FOREIGN REMITTANCE UNIT of our bank and i have had the intent to contact you over this financial transaction worth the sum of NINTEEN MILLION, THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS ($19,300,000.00 ) for our success.This is an abandoned sum that belongs to one of our bank foreign customers who died along with his entire family through plane crash disaster since few years ago.

Meanwhile i was very fortune to came across the deceased file when i was arranging the old and abandoned customers files in other to sign and submit to the entire bank management for an official re-documentation and audit of the year against 2007. Be informed clearly that it was stated in our banking rules and regulations which was signed lawfully that if such fund remains unclaimed till the period of 5 years started from the date when the beneficiary died, the money will be transferred into the treasury as an unclaimed fund.

As an honour and advantage bestowed to our foreign customers base on the rules guideing our bank, it was stated obviously that if you are not a Burkina Faso citizen, you have the absolute authority to claim the fund hence you are a foreigner despite your differences from the country of origin of the deceased. So the request of you as a foreigner is necessary to apply for the claim and transfer of the fund smoothly into your reliable bank account as the NEXT OF KIN OR EXTENDED RELATIVE to the deceased.

On the transfer of this fund into your account, { 39% } being ( US$7,527,000.00) will be your share in respect of the account provision and your assistance rendered during the transfer of the fund into your bank account,{ 52% } being (US$10,036,000.00) will be my share being the codinator of the transaction while the rest { 9% } being (US$1,737,000.00) will be shared to the respectable Organisations Centers such as Charity Organisation, Motherless Babies homes, and helpless disabled people in the World.

If you are really sure of your trustworthy, accountability and confidentiality on his transaction, contact me and agree that you will not change your mind to cheat or disappoint me when the fund have getting into your account. Besides you should not entertain any fear because i am sure of the success as an insider in the bank ok. Please reply with the assurance, include your private telephone and fax numbers necessary for facilitate an easy communication in this transaction. I expect your urgent communication.

Yours sincerely,

What good luck for me to have been selected out of all the people in the World who are not citizens of Burkina Faso!

I think we can trust Mr Ibru, as he is the Chief Auditor Incharge in a country whose banking reputation is beyond reproach. As I do not need the money (having recently invested in a Nigerian Pyramid Selling Scheme), I am passing on this opportunity to any reader who wishes to take advantage of this 'lucrative transaction for our future survival in life'

If however you would feel guilty at profiteering from the poor people who died in that 'plane crash disaster since few years ago', you may wish to provide the email address of your your Head or perhaps the parents of a pupil that you believe to be particularly deserving, so that they can benefit instead. (Remember that they must not be citizens of Burkina Faso)

Oh by the way, Mr Ibru can be contacted at


Tom Welsh said...

"Oh by the way, Mr Ibru can be contacted at"

All together now, let's have a rousing chorus of "I robbed them my way".

That letter would make an interesting subject for a short lesson at school. Potential topics could range from grammar, spelling, and syntax through textual analysis to Bayesian evaluation of the probability that the writer is telling the truth, and analysing the email header to see how the return path is obfuscated. There's an entire syllabus in there!

jerym said...

Looks like your onto a lucky streak.No doubt you will soon be informed by Readers Digest that among the inhabitants of your town you have the sole opportunity to win another million.Some people get all the luck.

Anonymous said...

me!!!!!!!!!!me!!!!!!!!!!!!!me!!!!!!!!!.... and I know a lot of yr 11 chavs who'd LOVE to join this lucrative and sincere money spinner since school time's running out and there's not really a lot in store for the future, so that might solve their problems nicely! Saves them turning up at the job centre every other week, I mean, realy, they'll have to get up early and what's the point of that? They, having gained a GNVQ in "Business Studies", will certainly , with their newly developed business accumen, recognize the benefits of this lucrative opportunity at once and latch on to it....

Anonymous said...

oh, this is great stuff. Have you looked at the 419eaters site? there is a sidebar on the policeman's blog it is good fun.

Anonymous said...

Or read The Scambaiter Letters? very funny as the author scams the scammers.

Anonymous said...

I'm afraid I sent mine back to be corrected. There are standards you know. If somebody is going to try to scam me the least I expect is the letter to be in correct english. For some reason, the Zimbabweian "Chief" has yet to reply. Do you think he was in the same plane crash?