Friday, May 02, 2008

On Massage

I can vividly remember the day when as a fifth Former (sorry; year 11 nowadays) I went to see the headmaster (sorry; headteacher nowadays) to ask if he could arrange for a good looking lady to give me a good rubbing in order to perk me up before my 'O' Levels (sorry...)

I staggered out of his office, ears ringing from the barrage of blows.

How times have changed

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

There are two things disturbing me about these school rub downs. One is that the ten students are only paying a fiver for a thirty minute session. Do they get three minutes each or is this Karen some super woman that is devaluing her services for only ten pounds an hour?

The second thing about the article that is ripe through the English Education system is that the borderline lazy students get all the benefits and rewards while the hard working students get nothing.

The Cattle Prod of Destiny said...

Small question - easily answered. How does he know the massage works so close to the actual exams - are the results available immediately now for 'O' levels (not sorry!)?

Fiz said...

Huh? Is this for real?

Meg said...

Oh man. But it might be good for some of my teenagers to know that they are indeed going to be touched by a woman to whom they are not biologically related!

Anonymous said...

And in the interests of Equality, who selects the male massager for the female students?

Any volunteers?

Lilyofthefield said...

"Mr Coles said it was proving a positive experience for borderline grade pupils."

That tells me all I need to know. My contempt knows no bounds.

Anonymous said...

Look why don't we just all stop beating around the bush and go the whole hog? I think it's about time schools agreed to bring in high class escorts for the students who perform the best and achieve the highest grades. That way, as a previous poster pointed out, it's not just the lazy boarderline students who get all the rewards, whilst the hard working ones get nowt.

I bet any money with a service like that every schools percentage of A* grades would sky rocket and you could stop dumbing down the standards, as the students would naturally want to work as hard as they possibly could, in order to get their "rewards."

Geez, sometimes I make even myself laugh, lmao!

Dr Brown said...

http://www.drrant.net/2008/05/ippr-thick-cunts.html

thought you may appreciate the support, we don't like seeing our fellow professionals being butchered by this foolish government's meddling

The Tefl Tradesman said...

Mm, with some of the Heads around these days, they'd probably offer you just that - head!

That means a blow job, by the way...

Area Trace No Search said...

For the first time since leaving school all those years ago, it's starting to seem an attractive place.

Mark Hill said...

Frank Chalk passed away on April 11th after a brief illness.
His real name was Rob McIlney and he was a teacher in Bournemouth.
RIP Rob

Kerry said...

Sad news. Not sure what to say. I liked your blog Frank.
RIP

Anonymous said...

R.I.P.

Rate my pupil was the first blog I ever commented on.

Anonymous said...

Very sad news- his blog was absolutely brilliant, a breath of fresh air.

RIP Frank

Anonymous said...

Is this true????
If so, very sad news.
You'll be missed Frank - you brightened some otherwise VERY grim days...

Anonymous said...

If he passed away in April why was he still posting in May ?
Also why did the publishers not use this to get more details

mark hill said...

Apologies anon, I meant MAY 11.
Mark.

News from Monday Books said...

We've been emailed today to ask if it was true that Frank Chalk has died, with the emailer pointing us here.

Happily, it isn't true (as far as we know).

We spoke to 'Frank' a day or so ago and he was in rudest good health then.

Also, he isn't called Rob McIlney.

Frank is up to his neck in a variety of projects at the moment which is why he hasn't posted lately. Nothing more sinister than that.

We hope this hasn't caused any distress to the family and friends of the real Rob (to whom all condolences) but we are pleased to be able to set the record straight.

Thanks.

Anonymous said...

In that case - Mark Hill is a TIT

Mark Hill said...

I'm really really sory - Rob was a bit of a joker and had said he was Frank. Hence my post.
Apologies.

Anonymous said...

As his slightly younger, and considerably better looking brother I can assure you Frank is alive and well, just a little snowed under with other projects.

Contact Law said...

Legal Advice

Contact Law can assist you with any legal issue. We have a network of 4,000 solicitors across the UK and a legal helpline service that can quickly assist you with your legal problem. We ensure that you get a quick and cost effective answer to your legal problem.

http://www.contactlaw.co.uk/legaladvice/