Thursday, November 22, 2007

Don't Worry, This Is A One-Off

I was going to tell you about the latest revelation from Downing St. that Alistair Darling sent the bank details of 25 million Brits to a Nigerian email scammer who said he 'needed them urgently for good helping with a PhD Project'

but unfortunately The Daily Mash beat me to it. Hats off to them, they're always spot on.

Apparently the abject failure of eleven hopeless overpaid dandies last night is going to cause a collapse in the economy.

I'm too busy with the new book to post regularly (and in any case, sales of Frank Chalk went up as soon as I stopped!)

Mrs Chalk's department decided recently that pupils should be given projects to do rather than dull, old fashioned learning type homeworks. The result of this is that every 14 year old child in her class can produce a messy pile of gloop that they call a model of a cell; made out of plastecine, jelly and God knows what, but cannot name a single one of its parts.

That's what I call progress...

David Cameron wants pupils to stand up when a teacher comes into the classroom. I'm all for this, in fact I'd have them kneeling down and touching their foreheads to the ground. I can't say that I ever had any problems getting kids to stand up; it was getting them to sit back down again and stop running round the room shouting "F*** Off!" that used to stump me. I notice he didn't have much to say on that score.

Oh, Thanks to Random House- they are publishing It's Your Time in Australia from Jan 1st. That should put a stop to any more Aussie teachers coming over. I've agreed to be interviewed by Kylie in mid Jan.

Look after yourselves (and don't get a job in Los Angeles)

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tut,tut, I don't want any pupils kneeling down and touching the ground with their foreheads when I come in. Keep that for Finsbury Park Mosque.

Anonymous said...

am waiting patiently for the film of the book.

Inspector Gadget said...

Unfortunately in Ruraltown they all sport razorback skinhead haircuts, and therefore do not have forelocks to tug. You know you are in Ruraltown when your Dad takes you to school because he's in the year above you.

The Blackman said...

Pupils stand up when a teacher enters the classroom? Only if you want more resentment and conflict.

I'm afraid the Right Honourable Gentleman does not understand education as well as he might. Then again, neither do most teachers, pupils, teaching assistants or anyone else involved with the profession, as carefull analysis is nowhere near as convenient as advocating your own position by screaming as loudly as you can.

Anonymous said...

I used to work in that Los Angeles place - only it had been transplanted to south Telford...

Anonymous said...

I have done my year of teaching in England and will be spreading the gospel when I return to Australia. Even though we know it is bad and have been warned by everyone who returns (usually with a twitch and they jump when a loud bang is heard)we still pour over in the thousands each year. It is for the travel.
I would never do it again. I would save up my money and take my long service leave to travel Europe.

Anonymous said...

What is "It's Your Time"?

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